PAMATO Merlie Alunan 1 1 INGON ani ang pagduwag bikubiko. 2 Magkuha og lipak ug magbagis sa yuta. Ang bagis porma og balay nga may mga kuwarto. May gikasabotang mga pamaagi ug mga agianan pasulod ug paguwa aning balaya. Aron mahibawog asa moagi pasaka ug pakanaog, ilabay ang usa ka bato sulod sa bagis. Kon asa tugpa ang imong bato, mao nay kuwarto nga una nimong adtoon. 3 Kinahanglang ang imong bato, hamis. Haom sa imong palad. Hustos gibug-aton. Kini aron iniglabay unya nimo niini, dili kini molasik bisag asa, motugpa gyod sa imong tumong. Di sayon mangitag bato nga tukma sa imong panginahanglan. Kon makakita kag sakto nga bato, ampingi gyod ni pag-ayo. Mao na ni himoang pamato. Isulod sa imong bolsa, hikap-hikapa panagsa, hunghongig sineguro aron makaambit kinig dagon ug motuo gyod sa imong mando. 2 4 ANG sakayanon maghupot sad sa iyang baruto og usa ka putol nga puthaw, o usahay usa ka bilog nga bato. Way sapayan og unsay porma basta kini may igong gidak-on ug gibug-aton. Sa pagdunggo, ihulog ang bato sa tubig aron ang sakayan dili danason sa sulog o sa balod. Aron motulin ang sakayan, haw-asa ang bato dayon larga. 5 Apan labing tinuod, kining akong giasoy way kalabotan sa bikubiko o sa panakayan. Mao gyod nay laktod sa estorya, magsugod sa baryo unya moabot sa langit. 3 6 ANG lungsod sa Dueñas giila sa Iloilo nga pinuy-anan ni Tenyente Gimo. Si Gimo maoy bantogang ungo sa tibuok Kailonggohan. Sa Dueñas ko natawo ug didto sad ko magtubo. Mao ra nig moingon ka, ikaw taga Sugbo nga taga Parian ka o taga Naga ba hinuon, nga gibantog sad nga lugar sa mga gamhanan dinhi sa ato. 7 Didto sa Dueñas, ang among tawag sa lagas, “mal-am”. Si Mal-am Tikyo, si Malam Tonyang, ug ako, sa akong pangedaron karon nga saysentahon, hayan tawgon na ko didto sa Dueñas nga Mal-am Milay. 8 “Haay, masakit ya akon tuhod. Mal-am na gid.” (Sakit akong tuhod. Lagas na gyod.) Mao ni sinultihan nga Kinaray-a. Sinultihan sa amoa sa Dueñas. Binisaya ra man hinuon ni gihapon. 9 Si Mal-am Silay among silingan. Ang tawag namo niya Ma-am Silay, pinayungit. Dili siya ungo, uy, apan dagway siyag ungo kon kaming mga bata ray pasultihon. Usahay silas Idik ug Botsoy managan og makakita niya nga magpadulong. 1 10 Ang panit ni Mal-am Silay nanguyos, morag dahon sa tabako nga gibulad sa Adlaw. Iyang mga bukog nangulbo sa iyang siko ug tuhod. Niwang kaayo siya ug tikuko na gyod kaayo, halos di na makabarog, ug lugos na makatuyhad kon molakaw. Buta si Ma-am Silay. 11 Bisan pa niini, adlaw-adlaw, si Ma-am Silay manaog sa iyang balay ug magbaklay padulong sa tubod aron maligo. Inagak siya sa iyang duha ka apo nga dalagahay. Mag-una si Daday, nga maoy magbitbit sa hungot nga sinudlan sa sabon ug lugod ug sa kinagod nga lubi nga maoy iyang ihiso sa iyang nangugis ug taas nga buhok. Magsunod si Talya, ang ikaduha niyang apo. Si Ma-am Silay magkupot sa abaga ni Talya, ug silang duha mag-aginod ngadto sa tubod. Duol ra man sa ilang balay ang atabay sa tubod. Apan tagtunga sa dangaw na lang ang lakang sa lagas nga buta, mao nga ang duol morag lima ka kilometro ang kadugayon sa pagbaktas. 12 Kalagmitan, labyan mi nilang magduwag bikubiko sa daplin sa dalan. Gipaningot. Nanimahong adlaw. Way ligo, siyempre. 13 Magbaga ang yuta sa kaudtohon sa among mga lapalapa kay wa man miy mga tsinelas. Bisan si Ma-am Silay, magtiniil. Adtong panahona wa pay uso ang esmagol. Parehas namo, tungod sa labihang kabaga sa kubal sa iyang lapalapa, wa ray bale ang dagaang sa yuta sa among pag-iniktin. Si Daday ug si Talya magbakya. Madungog kaayo namo ang kagulkol sa kahoy kon mosantik sa bato sa ilang paglakaw. Kaming tulo ka babaye, si Caring, Melinda ug ako, mohunong og iktin-iktin ug magpadaplin, magnganga nga magatan-aw sa ilang hinay uyamot nga prosesyon. 14 Usahay mosunod ko ngadto sa atabay aron motan-aw sa mal-am nga maligo. Nahibawo ko nga inadlaw ang tubig sa atabay gikan sa kainit sa yuta diin kini maggikan. Magtimba si Talya og tubig ug buboan niya ang iyang apoy. Lugoran ni Daday ang iyang likod, sabonan ang nanguyos niyang mga bukton, bitiis, tutoy. Ilang tabangan og bubho sa pinaugang lubi ug dinukdok nga dahon sa lemon ang iyang puti nga buhok. 15 Manaligdig ang tubig sa iyang nanguyos nga panit. Unya mohuros ang bugnawng hangin gikan sa nag-alirong nga kakahoyan. Manglimbawot akong balhibo. Unsa pa kaha kadtong mal-am nga hubo? Way tagad ang lagas kon kinsay naglibot ug nakakita sa iyang nahikyad nga kalawasan. Di parehas kang Talya, ang patadyong maayong pagkabilikis sa iyang lawas samtang siya naligo. Siya ug si Daday. 16 Inigkahuman nilag waswas sa tigulang, sudlayon ni Talya ang iyang buhok para matangtang ang nanghibilin nga sapal sa lubi. Magsinaw ang iyang buhok ug manimahong dinukdok nga dahon sa lemon. Iya kining ipadunghay aron mauga sa hangin ug sa Adlaw. Ug maghinay-hinay na sad silag baktas pauli. 4 17 SA Dueñas niadtong panahona, ang among kawsanan sa tubig ginganlag bayong. Usa ni ka putol nga kawayan nga gitangtangag buko sa taliwa, usag tunga sa dupa ang gitas-on. Pun-on ni sa tubig sa atabay ug pas-anon pauli, unya ihuwad sa tadyaw. 2 18 Magkawos og usa ka bayong, igo nang ikaligo sa mal-am. Di ba mas masayon buhaton? 19 Wa ni mosulod sa akong hunahuna kaniadtong walo pa lay akong edad ug igo lang magpalutok sa akong mata inigsagadsad sa tiil ni Mal-am Silay sa bagis sa akong bikubiko. Wa sad ko kahunahuna ani samtang nag-atang ko sa mal-am nga maligo. Kainit sa Adlaw, kabugnaw sa hangin, kanindot sa tubig nga mipasinaw sa nanguyos na nga panit ni Mal-am Silay— mao ra ni akong nasabtan adtong panahona. 20 Dili gugma. Kanang pulonga ihalas pa sa dila sa usa ka batang sip-onon. 5 21 USA ka adlaw ana, namutos mi sa among kabtangan, tanan, banig, unlan, kaldero ug kulon, lakip mga plato ug luwag, ug ang among diyotay nga sinina. Si Nanay, si Tatay, ug ang akong tulo ka igsoon. Nanakay mig bus, dala ang among tanang putos. Nanghilak ang akong nanay ug akong mga igsoon. Nanghilak ang among kapartidosan nga nagpalarga namo. 22 Ambot ngano to, apan ako, wa gyod ko mohilak, uy. 23 Bisag mawa na ang atabay sa tubod. Mawa na si Caring, si Melinda, si Botsoy ug si Idik nga akong kaduwa og siyatom ug bikubiko. Di na ko makakita nilang Ma-am Silay, Daday ug Talya sa ilang inadlaw-adlawng prosesyon aron maligo. 24 Bisan pa niana, wa gyod ko mohilak. Akong hunahuna, ah, mobalik ra nya ko. Pagbalik nako naa ra na gihapon sila. 25 Dugay na to kaayo. 26 Ug wa gyod ko makabalik. 6 27 LABANG sa Siquijor, sa mga isla sa Kabisay-an, layo-layo sa nag-aso nga tuktok sa Kanlaon, paduol sa Parian, lahos pa gani ngadto sa Naga. Naabot ko sa Iligan, sa lugar sa mga Muslim. Nakapasilong kog pila ka tuig ilawom sa landong sa Cuernos de Negros, diha sa naglawod-lawod nga mga katubhan. 28 Pagkalayo na nako sa Dueñas nga akong gigikanan. Bisan didto ko natawo ug nagtubo, ang Dueñas, wa tuyoa, lugar nga akong tinalikdan. Daghan na kog balayng gisak-an ug gikanaogan. Nakaamgo ug unsay gugma gumikan sa paghandom sa mga nangawala, mga biniyaan ug wa na hipalging mga butang. 29 Dugay nang napulbos sa katuigan si Ma-am Silay. Di na gyod kabalikan ang kabatan-on, kalaski, katin-aw sa mata, kahamis ug kaambongan. Apan sa akong panumdoman, hagtik lang gihapon ang tagaktak sa bakya ni Talya ug ni Daday sa kabatoan sa dalan. Ang lapalapa sa buta nga lagas nagkanaas lang gihapon sa yuta sa iyang inadlaw-adlawng pagsimba sa atabay, paghandom sa kainit sa tubig sa atabay, kabugnaw sa hangin nga gikan sa kakahoyan, singgit ug katawa sa mga bata nga nanagduwa. Kadtong panahona di na gyod kabalikan. 3 30 Pagkalayo na gyod sa Dueñas. Bisan ang karaang sinultihan nga kanhi haniti ko mosulti, nalimas na sa akong dila. 31 Apan sayod ko sa dalan pabalik sa akong mga biniyaan. Ako kining gibalon, bisan diin pa ko gidagsa, wa buhii sa alimpatakan, bisag unsa pay gipanglayat, gipangtungas o gipanglugsong man. Bisag sila wa na diha, nahibawo kog asa ko sila hikaplagi. Sa akong alimpatakan, timgas ang tanan, ambongan, tibuok ang kahulogan. 32 Sa usa ka sakayan, ang pamato batok sa balod ug andam alang sa haros sa panahon. Paglarga sa among bus, akong gihilam ang akong gitipig-tipigan sa akong bolsa— ang akong pamato, akong duwa-duwaan, haom sa palad, hamis, balanse ug may igong gibug-aton. Di molasik kon ilabay, motugpa gyod sa akong tumong. 33 Mao nay estorya, maghanoy-hanoy man, motuyok ra gyod sa iyang gisugdan. (2007) 4 Meet the Writer MERLIE M. ALUNAN, an associate of the U.P. Institute of Creative Writing, is a professor at the U.P. College in Tacloban City, where she currently resides. She obtained her M.A. in Creative Writing from the Silliman University in Dumaguete City in 1975. She has received numerous awards for her writing, including the Lillian Jerome Thornton Award for Nonfiction, Gawad Pambansang Alagad ni Balagtas, Free Press, Chancellor’s Award for Excellence in Creative Work, and Likhaan Workshop Award. Her book Hearthstone, Sacred Tree (Anvil, 1993), in particular, consists of sets of poetry that won in the prestigious Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature in 1985, 1988, 1991, and 1992. She published another collection of poems, entitled Amina Among the Angels, in 1997. Her other works include a book that delves into social history, Kabilin: 100 Years of Negros Oriental (1993) and the anthology Fern Garden: An Anthology of Women Writing in the South (1998). In addition to teaching literature, she also serves as a panelist in prominent writing workshops like the Iligan National Writers Workshop. (http://panitikan.com.ph/authors/a/mmalunan.htm) 5 FLIP GOTHIC Cecilia Manguerra Brainard 1 Dear Mama, 2 Thank you for agreeing to have Mindy. Jun and I just don’t know what to do with her. I’m afraid if we don’t intervene, matters will get worse. Mia, her Japanese American friend, had to be sent to a drug rehab place. You’d met her when you were here; she’s the tiny girl who got into piercing; she had a nose ring, a belly ring - and something in her tongue. Her parents are distraught; they don’t know what they’ve done, if they’re to blame for Mia’s problem. I talked to Mia’s Mom yesterday and Mia’s doing all right; she’s writing angry poetry but is getting over the drug thing, thank God. 3 There’s so much anger in these kids, I can’t figure it out. They have everything - all the toys, clothes, computer games and whatever else they’ve wanted. I didn’t have half the things these kids have; and Jun and I had to start from scratch in this country - you know that. That studio we had near the hospital was really tiny and I had to do secretarial work while Jun completed his residency. Everything we own this house, our cars, our vacation house in Connecticut - we’ve had to slave for. I don’t understand it; these kids have everything served to them in a silver platter and they’re angry. 4 We’re sure Mindy’s not into drugs - she may have tried marijuana, but not the really bad stuff. We’re worried though that she might eventually experiment with that sort of thing. If she continues running around with these kids, it’s bound to happen. What made us decide to send her there was this business of not going to school. Despite everything, Mindy had always been a good student, but this school year, things went haywire. This was what alerted us, actually, when the principal told us she hadn’t been to school for two weeks. We thought the worst but it turned out she and her friends had been hanging out at Barnes and Noble. It’s just a bookstore; it’s not a bad place, but obviously she should have gone to school. We had to do something. Sending her to the Philippines was all I could think of. 5 She’ll be arriving Ubec on Wednesday, 10:45 a.m. on PAL Flight 101. Ma, don’t be shocked, but her hair is purple. Jun has been trying to convince her to dye her hair black, for your sake at least, but Mindy doesn’t even listen. Jun has had a particularly difficult time dealing with the situation. It’s not easy for him to watch his daughter "go down the drain," as he calls it. He feels he has failed not only as a father but as a doctor. 6 It’s true that it’s become impossible to reason with Mindy, but I’ve told him to let the hair go, to pick his battles so to speak. But he gets terribly frustrated. He can’t stand the purple hair; he can’t stand the black lipstick - yes, she uses black lipstick - and the black clothes and boots and metal. I’ve explained to him that it’s just a fad. Gothic, they call it. I personally think it looks dreadful. I can’t stand the spikes around her neck; but there are more important things, like school or her health. She’s just gotten over not-eating. That was another thing her friends got into - not eating. Why eat dead cows, Mindy would say. She was into tofu and other strange looking things. For months, she wasn’t eating and had gotten very thin, we finally had to bring her to a doctor (very humbling for Jun). The doctor suggested a 6 therapist. One hundred seventy-five dollars an hour. She had several sessions then Mindy got bored and started eating once again. She’s back to her usual weight, but well, the hair and clothing might scare you, so I’m writing ahead of time to prepare you. 7 Thanks once again Ma, for everything, and I hope and pray that she doesn’t give you the kind of trouble she’s been giving us. 8 Your daughter, 9 Nelia * 10 Dear Nelia, 11 She had blue hair, not purple. Arminda explained that she had gone out with her friends and found blue dye - obviously you were unaware of this. She brought several boxes of the dye, including bottles of peroxide. Can you just imagine-peroxide--what if the bottles broke in her suitcase? Apparently, she has to remove color from her hair before dying it blue. The whole process sounds terribly violent on the hair, but I didn’t say anything; I didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. 12 Arminda arrived an hour late - PAL, you know how that airline is. She was not wearing boots; she had left them in New York, she explained, and was wearing white platform shoes instead. It’s an understatement to say that operations at Ubec Airport came to a halt when people caught sight of her. People around here like to say Ubec is now so cosmopolitan, with our five-star hotels, our discos and our share of Japanese tourists, but it will always retain its provincial qualities. When I saw Arminda - blue hair, black clothes, sling bag, platform shoes - I was not sure Ubec is ready for Arminda. I had to remind myself that I survived World War Two and therefore will survive Arminda. 13 Indeed she is rebellious. It does no good to tell her what to do; in fact she goes out of her way to do exactly the opposite of what you say. I have placed her in your old room and have stopped entering the room because the disorder is too much for me to take. Clothes all over the bed and dresser chair, and scattered all over the floor as well. One cannot walk a straight line in that room. There was also the business of blue dye all over the bathroom. The maid Ising spent one whole afternoon scrubbing the tiles with muriatic acid to remove the stains. 14 Her language is foul, her behaviour appalling. I will not pretend that it’s been easy having Arminda here. I try to give her a lot of leeway because she is just fifteen and doesn’t know any better, but having her here has been purgatory. 15 Frankly, Nelia, I blame you and Jun for all this. If she had been trained properly, if she had been taught right or wrong from the beginning, she would not be this incorrigible brat. Forgive me, but I don’t know what else to call this willful, mouthy, and arrogant child. I have repeatedly called your attention: I have warned you that that child will bring you to your knees if you don’t discipline her. But all I heard from you and Jun was: Ma, don’t be old-fashioned; this is the American way. Here now is the result of your American experiment. My words have proved prophetic, 7 have they not? There is some poetic justice in all this: your daughter has finally shown you the pain parents endure, as I have endured on account of you. I am still trying to figure out why you left for America when you had a good life here. You parroted all the cliches about America--freedom, equality, human rights, opportunities--well, obviously you have learned that cliches are just that. 16 I am not enjoying rubbing it in and pray she can still be saved. And I also pray that you and Jun can alter your ways. You two have become too American for your own good. This has contributed to the problem. You have spoiled her. You yourself admit you have given her everything. Every material thing perhaps, but not a good sense of herself. It is clear this child is terribly insecure, that she does not like herself. Coloring her hair, this outrageous get-up - she is simply hiding behind all these. 17 Another thing, you do not even keep an altar in your home; and even though you go to church when I visit you in New York, I am well aware that you do not always go to Mass on Sundays. Despite all your wealth your family does not have a solid foundation, so there you are. But let us drop the matter for the moment. After all, you and Jun are paying for your mistakes, and I can only hope that it is not too late. 18 Let me resume my report on Arminda. 19 Arminda has been so disagreeable, the kids of Ricardo dislike her intensely. I had hoped they would all get along and that therefore Arminda could spend time with her cousins. I am old, and my interests and hers are very different. Miriam and Oscar are close to her in age. Unfortunately things didn’t work out. In her New York accent Arminda called her cousins backward and ignorant, and therefore they boycotted her. She has only me and the servants who barely speak English. She does not really talk to me but does extend standard cordialities: good morning, Lola, good evening, Lola, at least you have taught her that much. 20 She is restless; she does not know what to do with herself. She roams around the house and yard. She likes helping the gardener build bonfires in the afternoon; of course her playing with fire makes me nervous so we keep a close eye on her. There is just no telling what will enter her mind. In the evening, she watches television. She is constantly flipping the channels, from Marimar to CNN, my head spins when I watch TV with her. The maids say she reads and writes when she is in her bedroom. I have suggested that she write you and Jun but she says she will never talk nor write to you. 21 Obviously, she cannot hang around here forever. I’ve visited schools around here so she can go to school soon. She will not do at St. Catherine’s. The nuns there are as strict today as they had been half a century ago. Ricardo suggests enrolling her in American School. Your brother says American School is more liberal, less traditional; perhaps Arminda will not be so different there. 22 Oh, another thing, she insists on being called Arminda, not Mindy. She said she has always hated that name; that it reminds her of some dumb television show "Mork and Mindy." 23 I will let you know how her schooling goes. 8 24 Love and kisses, 25 Mama * 26 Dear Nelia, 27 Arminda is not in school. I had enrolled her at American School, but the night before she was supposed to go school, she shaved off her head - the whole thing except for the blue bangs. Even the liberal Americans will not have her. She hated school in New York and will never go to school again, she insists. 28 I was very angry but have decided not to force her. At any rate, there is no school in Ubec that will take her. The Christmas holidays are almost here, then there’s the Sinulog festival; nothing much will be happening in school any way. I have told her that she must spend a few hours reading in our library; your father had many history books and there’s the entire collection of the Encyclopedia Brittanica besides. For once she agreed to something. 29 Frankly I feel she is unhappy about having shaved her head. She has been wearing that black fedora hat of hers with the veil in front. When she is not in the library, she sulks in her bedroom. I have raised six children and have eleven grandchildren; I know better than to give her attention. 30 Mama 31 P.S. I forgot to mention that it had entered her head to dye the hair of my Santo Nino. Since you were an infant, that poor statue has been standing at the landing of our stairs, unmolested; we offer it flowers, we light candles in front of it; we take it out for the Sinolug parade; the artist Policarpio Lozada carved it from hard yakal wood, which is now impossible to find, and here your daughter comes along and colors its hair bright blue. It looks ridiculous, Nelia--the Child Jesus in red robes with blue hair. When she saw how upset I was, she offered to dye the hair black, but I told her to leave it that way as a reminder to all of what she has done. 32 I am saying the novena to the Santo Nino, patron of lost causes, for your daughter. * 33 Dear Nelia, 34 I don’t know if the Santo Nino had something to do with it, but she has discovered the animals. I have three pigs, one enormous black female and two small males that I’ve earmarked for Christmas lechon. She releases the small ones from their pen in the morning and chases them around. Sometimes I catch her talking to them. The runt, the pink one with freckles down his back, cocks his head to one side and stares at Arminda, as if he is listening. She gets the water hose and hoses them down. The piglets root about and roll around the mud near the water tank, then afterwards, they march back to their pen. 9 35 She also plays with my two hens. Abraham had given these to me several months ago, but one day, they started laying eggs and I could not kill them. The chickens run around scot-free and they never learned to lay eggs in a regular place. I’d tried to make nests for them near the garage, but they prefer the many nooks and crannies around the yard. Arminda hunts for the eggs daily. She says the hen that lays brown eggs favors the place under the star apple tree, whereas the hen that lays white eggs lays under the grapefruit tree. She asked the cook to teach her how to prepare the eggs properly so Arminda now knows how to fry eggs, scramble them and make omelettes. This morning, she made me a cheese omelette and she arranged it on the plate with parsley garnish to make it look pretty. She was quite delighted at her creation. 36 She is really still just a child. I cannot help wondering if your lifestyle there has forced her to grow up too quickly. Your way of life is horrible; when I am there my blood pressure rises from all that hurly-burly. Life does not have to be such a rat race. One ought to "smell the flowers" - as your kitchen poster says. 37 Love and kisses, 38 Mama * 39 Dear Nelia, 40 We did not have lechon for Christmas. I had seen it coming. Christmas Eve, when the man I contracted to slaughter and roast the pigs arrived, Arminda begged me not to have the pigs killed. She was in tears. She said she would grow out her hair once again; she promised to behave - anything to save the pigs. Like Solomon I weighed the matter: Christmas meal versus the pigs. I could see that the pigs meant a lot to her, that in fact, the pigs are partly responsible for her more mellow behaviour. In the end I decided to save the pigs. For the first time since her arrival, Arminda kissed me on the cheeks. 41 She was actually charming to her cousins. We joined them for midnight Mass at Redemptorist church, then later we gathered at home for the Noche Buena meal. Even without the lechon, there was plenty of food. It’s always that way every year, even when you were small, too many rellenos and embotidos; and Ricardo always makes his turkey with that wonderful stuffing. The desserts are another whole story: sans rival, tocino del cielo, meringue, mango chiffon cake, maja blanca, all the way to the humble sab-a bananas rolled in white sugar. 42 I don’t know if it was a joke but Miriam and Oscar gave her a black wig. Arminda removed her hat, tried on the wig and kept it on the whole night. I was surprised to see that she looks a lot like you. 43 Arminda gave everyone poems written in calligraphy on parchment paper. I do not know what mine means but it says: 44 I fled from you 45 A world away 10 46 I turn and 47 Find you 48 All around me. 49 As usual, she wore black, but this time it was a dress sewn by Vering. It had a nice flowing skirt, and instead of a zipper, the dress had black ribbons that criss-crossed and tied into a ribbon. She wore black net stockings and black chunky shoes. She continues to wear black lipstick but we have become used to it. Actually we have become used to Arminda and her drama; and I believe she is getting used to us. 50 I hope your Christmas has been as lovely as ours. 51 Love and kisses, 52 Mama * 53 Dear Nelia, 54 Arminda wanted to know more about the Sinulog festival. People are getting ready for the Sinulog and the Christmas decorations have given way to the banners with the image of the Child Jesus. I explained that even before Christian days, Ubecans have always celebrated during harvest time. When Christianity was introduced, the statue of the Child Jesus, called the Santo Nino, became the focal point of the festivities. People dance to honor the Child Jesus. In parades, people dance to the beat of drums. Some people blacken their faces and they wear costumes and dance through the streets of Ubec. People do get drunk and it can get wild sometimes, so one must know where to go; I told her this because I could see her eyes sparkling with interest. 55 We visited the Child Jesus at the Santo Nino Church. I could not help myself - I pointed out to her that this original statue does not have blue hair. Embarrassed, she looked down at her shoes and mumbled that she had offered to dye my statue’s hair black. I explained that if we dye the statue’s hair from blue to black to God-knows-what-other-color, it will lose all its hair. She apologized once again for having touched my statue. She said this sincerely and I decided to let the matter go. 56 I related stories instead about the Santo Nino: how the Child roams the streets at night; how the Child gives gifts of food to His friends. And I told Arminda of how you were born with beri-beri and how I danced to the Child Jesus so that you would be saved. 57 The last item fascinated her. 58 "What is beri-beri, Lola?" she asked. 59 "A disease caused by a lack of Vitamin B," I said. 11 60 "What happened to my Mom?" 61 "She was born near the tail-end of the war, and I had not eat properly when I carried her. Your mother had edema and nervous disorder. Her eyes were rolled up; she was dying." 62 "I didn’t know my Mom almost died." 63 "I prayed to the Santo Nino for her life." 64 "She never told me she was sick when she was a baby." 65 "Perhaps she did and you didn’t listen." 66 She furrowed her brows and thought for a while before asking, "How did you pray?" 67 "I danced my prayer." 68 "Show me," Arminda said. 69 And so outside the Santo Nino Church, we held candles in our hands and we shuffled our dance to the Child Jesus. It was mid-day and quite hot and sweat rolled down our faces as we swayed to the right, then to the left. People gathered to watch us. I am usually shy about this matters, but this time I did not mind. Both of us were laughing when we finished. 70 She also wanted to see the old Spanish fort, so we drove to Fort San Pedro and later we stopped by the kiosk with Ferdinand Magellan’s cross. This got her interested and she scoured the library for information on Philippine history. She was pumping me full of questions; then this morning, she expressed interest in going back to school. After the Sinulog, I will meet with the principal of the American School. 71 I think, Nelia, that Arminda’s problem has been basically a question of identity. I know Jun has talked to Arminda, telling her she has Filipino blood but that she’s an American citizen. I am not sure that is enough for that child. At the hospital where he works, Jun is treated like a god; he is a doctor and is not subjected to the "looks" and the questions: where do you come from? Or worse - what are you? He doesn’t feel the discrimination, not as much as Arminda may, in your American world. 72 These past months, she has immersed herself in our world - granted it is not her world because one day she will return to America - but in the meantime, she has a better understanding of what it means to be Filipino. It is important for one to know where one comes from, in order to know where one is headed. 73 Love and kisses, 74 Mama * 12 75 Dear Mom and Dad, 76 I need six packages of blue dye and three bottles of peroxide. If you call Mia, she can tell you where to buy them. Tell Mia, I’m glad she’s well and that I wish she were here with me. She’d like this place; it’s cool. Tito Ric has brought us to the beaches here, and he’s promised to take us to the rice terraces this summer. He said the place is very old, and there are mummies there, and there are fireflies at night. He also said some of the people there, especially the older ones, have tattoos on their bodies. (He’s already told me I can’t have a tattoo, so you don’t have to worry.) I can’t wait for the summer. 77 Last week we had the Sinulog. It wasn’t as fancy as the Rose Parade nor the Mardi Gras, but there were numerous parades all over the city. Day and night for a week you could hear the drums beating. People from other towns came to the city and many of them slept along the sidewalks. The city was crammed with people, celebrating and eating and dancing. I went around with Miriam and Oscar. They were such dorks before, but they’re not that bad any more. 78 For the main parade, we wore costumes - Lola lent Miriam and me some of her old sayas; Oscar blackened his face and wore a huge feathered hat. The three of us had blue hair. People stopped us in the streets to ask about our hair. They fingered our hair and wondered how we turned it blue. We just laughed. We did not tell them we used dye from New York. It was like a secret - our secret. 79 But I’ve ran out and need more. Be sure and send it; but don’t rush because the school does not allow blue hair. I’ll have to wait until summer vacation before I can dye my hair blue again. 80 Love, 81 Arminda (1998) 13 Meet the Writer CECILIA MANGUERRA BRAINARD is the award-winning author and editor over a dozen books, including the internationally-acclaimed novel, When the Rainbow Goddess Wept, Magdalena, Acapulco at Sunset and Other Stories, Philippine Woman in America, and Woman With Horns and Other Stories. The book, Cecilia's Diary 1962-1968, was released in August 2003. She edited Growing Up Filipino: Stories for Young Adults, Fiction by Filipinos in America, and Contemporary Fiction by Filipinos in America. She co-edited with Edmundo Litton, Journey of 100 Years: Reflections on the Centennial of Philippine Independence. She co-edited with Marily Orosa three anthologies: Behind the Walls: Life of Convent Girls (2005), A La Carte: Food and Fiction (2007), and Finding God: Trues Stories of Spiritual Encounters (2009). A La Carte won the Gourmand Award in the Philippines and garnered third in the Gourmand Award held in London. Cecilia also wrote Fundamentals of Creative Writing (2009) for classroom use. Her work has been translated into Finnish and Turkish; and many of her stories and articles have been widely anthologized. Cecilia has received a California Arts Council Fellowship in Fiction, a Brody Arts Fund Award, a Special Recognition Award for her work dealing with Asian American youths, as well as a Certificate of Recognition from the California State Senate, 21st District. She has also been awarded by the Filipino and Filipino American communities she has served. In 1998, she received the Outstanding Individual Award from her birth city, Cebu, Philippines. She has received several travel grants in the Philippines, from the USIS (United States Information Service). In 2001, she received a Filipinas Magazine Award for Arts. She has lectured and performed universities, including UCLA, USC, Philippines, PEN, Beyond Baroque, others. She teaches creative writing in worldwide literary arts organizations and University of Connecticut, University of the Shakespeare & Company in Paris, and many at the Writers Program at UCLA-Extension. She is married to Lauren R. Brainard, a former Peace Corp Volunteer to Leyte, Philippines; they have three sons. (http://www.ceciliabrainard.com/) 14 MENS REA Lakambini Sitoy 1 Steve became a feminist in his sophomore year at law Supreme Court stripped a judge of his robe. The judge had and prettiest of his clerks to massage his back, and then his his briefs, he’d then flopped over into a supine position down… 2 “I am innocent!” he sputtered to the reporters when it was all over. “I merely wished to compliment her beauty! I had no criminal intent…” 3 Lecherous old goat, Steve scribbled to the girl who had sat next to him since the first day of freshman year. Her name was Helen and she was cute and it was mostly to wipe that expression of amused tolerance off her face that he’d decided to embrace the women’s cause. That was how he thought of it: The Women’s Cause, although none of the women in his family ever mentioned it. 4 Helen was useful at recitations, discreetly fanning out notes and case digests so that Steve, standing flustered beneath the barrage of insults from the professors, had only to glance down a microsecond before rattling off the right answer. 5 Thus he had earned his first good mark in Criminal Law. 6 “Mens rea?” Professor Sadueste thundered one afternoon a week into the term. “You’ve never heard of mens rea? Well, for your information, Mr. Prieto…” and here the old man paused, with a wicked twinkle in the eye,”…mens rea is monthly offering to the Goddess of Fertility—a discharge of blood nobly endured by women, but suffered even more nobly by their husbands!” 7 For one wretched moment Steve thought he was serious. And then the class laughed, even the girls (no one dared step out of line in their freshman year). He felt his face burn. Sadueste strode triumphantly back to his record book to write in the inevitable 5.00; Steve’s eyes dropped to where Helen was frantically rapping upon the textbook page; he saw the light and called out in one last tenacious effort to save his ass: “It means ‘criminal mind,’ sir! It is the evil intent that turns a simple act into a crime!” 8 STEVE had never been in love, but he knew the symptoms from brief interludes in college that he had filed away with care, to be savored in moments when life had proved itself a joke and him a miserable loser. Helen, he knew, was in love with him. Long, helpless moments she spen gazing into his eyes. Oh, she had mens rea for him, all right. Undoubtedly no one of his caliber had ever challenged her opinions in her small provincial alma mater. 9 They argued all the time, oblivious to the stares and titters of classmates as they passed: Helen pinned to the railing of one of the college’s numerous hallways, Steve pacing excitedly back and fourth. He loved debate: it honed his lawyerly talents. “You’re terrible!” he would taunt her. 15 school, the year the ordered the youngest buttocks. Clad only in and pulled her head 10 “When you’ve painted yourself into a corner you always pick the same convenient escape hatch: that I’m a man and you’re a woman and I wouldn’t have the faintest notion how things work from your perspective so I might as well back down since I’ve already lost. Right? Right.” 11 They talked about human-rights lawyering, of going corporate, of where the best jobs were: in Congress or in an NGO, in Makati or on campus, and so on. Whenever he found himself mired in the morass of Abortion, or Rape, or Wife Beating, he knew he could steer her by the nose to safer ground. But with each argument he found himself genuinely having a good time. On her turf, at that. Gender Issues. The words made him tingle al over, as though he and she were working their way, side by side, through a clutch of pornographic magazines. It gratified him to draw Helen out—or turn her on. It made the helpless rage that lit her face at his taunts all the more delicious. 12 “What would you do if I came to class tomorrow morning a feminist?” he chuckled one day. 13 “Marry you,” Helen replied without batting an eyelash. Steve was amazed at her boldness. It was to get her goat that he thought of finding work at the feminist NGO she had been raving about the whole of last year, the same place she was now applying to. There were a couple of part-time jobs available: one researcher, and one for a maintenance person of sorts. He figured he had a chance: surely he’d picked up enough womenspeak from her. Besides, when they saw his grades, they saw his grades, they’d have no choice but to hire him. He had weathered his freshman year well: Sadueste had given him a 1.75. Helen had gotten a 2.00. She had steadfastly refused to laugh at the old man’s jokes. 14 The organization was quartered in a two-story house in a peaceful residential district. The paint was grying along the walls; at the far end of the yard was a pile of refuse: a baby’s chair, an old bicycle. There were leafless vines and pots of dying flowers, which no one seemed to have the energy to clean up. Purple crepe paper flapped valiantly in the branches overhead, and there was a purple rug in the doorway, and purple posters in varoios languages, bearing the inevitable woodcuts of twisted female faces. Even the upholstery had an air of faded royalty. There was another aura to the place: one of anger and resignation. As Steve waited nervously for the lawyer who would interviee him (a woman, of cours; they were all women in this place) he felt a twinge of embarrassment. What if he got the job and Helen didn’t? He hadn’t really thought about it. He was in theis thing for some pocket money, she to pay the rent. 15 He was hired. “The official title is administrative assistant,” he told her a couple of days afterwards. “I’m sort of a glamorized clerk. No. An all-around hired hand. I’m even on call to change light bulbs. They haven’t gotten aournd to making me serve the coffee, but that day isn’t too far off.” 16 Helen raised an eyebrow. A phone call from the organization had informed her that they were sorry, her biodata was very good, but another girl had gotten there first. Unperturbed, she’d promptly gotten work at another NGO involved in tribal rights. Steve’s glorious ploy to grab her attention had fizzled out; he felt like a fool. 16 17 However, he scribbled to her in class, I’m game. Funny, thoug—when the machines start acting up or the plumbing’s on the blink, it’s still the fellow with the penis who has to fix it. 18 Helen giggled: Cute, O.K., but why didn’t you get the researcher post anyway? 19 Researcher’s got to read all the new books from the alternative U.S. presses, and even drafted what, after a long and tedious process, would one day be legislation. That was the greatest kick of all. That, and the legal assistance program. Steve had watched the interviews: women coming in from some provincial backwater, quacking and coverd in bruises, their grief assuaged by speedy rundown of the law. 20 Because I’m wrong shape and size, he wrote. Only women get to be researchers. 21 Helen grinned. 22 All that hype about gender equality, he grped on. That’s a load of bull. 23 She scribbled: Oh, but it’s just a matter of broading your perspective, Mr. Prieto. Picture it. You’re uneducated. Indigent. Nursed on Catholic prudery. And raped so recently that you still bear the stench of masculine effluents on your flesh. In front of you is Steven Prieto, notepad in hand. And you’re to recount to this strange man how others like him spread-eagled and skewered you like a hunk of meat. Come on, Steven, you’re a feminist now. 24 That floored him. She was articulate, all right. But only on paper, he hastily added to himself. 25 Diosa, the new researcher, the girl who had…beaten him, had cropped hair and a cynical smirk and wore baggy khaki trousers with a little belt bag of native design about her hips. Her movements were careless, her laughther loud. Steve was certin she was a lesbian. 26 They would all be lesbians in this place—the woman in charge of publications, the five other researchrs who swept into the office slightly neurotic from Corporate Law or Criminal Procedure or whatever, even the slender sensual girl who came to work draped in tie-dyed cotton. Lesbians, or women nursing some deep dark childhood violation. Purple rage, lilac bliss. He couldn’t imagine any of the sunny scrubbed girls he’d flirted with in college ending up in a place like this. He himself was an intruder. He had penetrated. 27 Each day he went to wrok with a mixture of fear and exhilaration. He’d park his car n the balzining hot street and buckle up for an anfternoon of mindless work. The day’s assignment would be waiting for him on his little desk. Pleadings to be delivered to courtrooms in Makati, Manila, Marikina. A stubborn computer virus that none of the women could eradicate. Each task was accompanied by a couple of lines form the head lawyer, elegantly penned in balck ink. Steve had never been ordered around, and in writing to boot, but within a short while he began to look forward to the notes. He was master and slave in one. Without him the organization would fall apart. 17 28 Gradually they discovered his other talents. “What the hell was the title of that movie rape star case?” Doris, a researcher, fretted one day. 29 “People v. Jose.” he replied helpfully and, after a moment’s pause, gave the year and most of the citation. 30 Doris went to the shelves to look it up. “You have a very retentive memory, don’t you, Steven,” she said in amazement.” Now give me Article 147 of the Family Code…” 31 It soon became a little game to them. When someone needed a case or a codal provision the researchers went to Steven Prieto. The whole office warmed to him, thumped his shoulder. He knew he had crossed the gender barrier when one afternoon he heard Doris and Yeng discussing comparative masculine anatomy a few feet from where he sat. His maleness had become invisible. 32 And then somebody’s cousin’s cousin was raped by her boyfriend on the verandah of an abandoned home at midnight. The culprit immediately proposed marriage, but nevertheless they brought the unfortunate girl in, her words a barely audible whisper, a paper bag of blood-staine clothing in hand. Beneath her faded t-shirt and jeans her body was tight and slender. 33 “Jesus, she’s so pretty she breaks my heart,” Steve said. 34 There was silence throughout the office. 35 A black blur, and then the head lawyer, in one of the power suits she wore to court, swept into his line of vision. “Are you saying she asked for it, Steven?” 36 He felt a stab of ice in the region of his belly. “No, ma’am; what I meant was…was…” The words came out of nowhere,”…that a healthy young man with normal impulses couldn’t help but pay homage to her good looks, ma’am.” 37 The lawyer’s eyes looked with his. “Are you saying that the rapist was motivated by the best of intentions, then?” 38 “Well, he asked to marry her, didn’t he?” he mumbled wretchedly, his face the hue of the posters on the wall. 39 “The woman is fanatic,” he said to Helen the next day. 40 She gave a curt nod of assent. She was always in a hurry now, her movements short and quick. 41 “She won’t even let me answer the counseling hotline,” he went on, “Unless there’s absolutely no one else around. And then all I can do is take down their names and numbers. Jesus. All those callers need is someone sound legal advice. I can rattle off the Family Code faster than Diosa can say the First Amendment.” 42 Diosa, with the cropped hair, handled the hotline, and the preliminary client interviews, and a couple of writing projects to boot. Oh God, it ranked like hell. 18 43 44 Helen turned to him at last. “It doesn’t just come from up here, Steven,” she said, tapping her temple. “You’ve got to work from here as well,” now she indicated her heart. “It’s tough enough sensitizing a woman. Every day I discover some new contradiction in me that has to be worked out.” 45 “Why, I’m even more of a feminist than you!” he grinned, pleased at the chance to tease her. 46 She merely shook her head, her eyes exhausted. Perplexed, he drew out a pack of cigarettes, watching her. The corners of her mouth deepened. That was the one thing the never forfeited: afternoon cigarette break. It was fast becoming his only link with the old Helen, the girl who could spen hours gazing into his eyes, nodding, smiling. 47 Now he gazed at her appreciatively. She was too dark-two years ago, in college, he’d never have given her a second glance. Her skin was earth brown, with a healthy tinge of red. Terra cotta. She was of almost pure native extraction. She was terrible dresser, but after a month or so among counterculture eccentrics he now realized that there was a deliberateness to her batiks, her woven knapsack, her bronzes and beads—that the riot of colors she spported was not due to poverty, but was her style. He wondered what sort of girl she was underneath; after more than a year of her acquaintance he had come away with nothing but her smile. It was a nice smile; too a trifle hesistant, but that was no doubt the unpolished provinciana in her. Once, on a jeep bound for Taft he’d searched the features of his fellow passengers and was delighted to discover so much of Helen in them. Except for her smile. Winsome. Nah, that was poetry; that was stupid; it conveyed nothing about her. 48 She merely stood against the railing, cigarette burning away forgotten between her fingers, watching him while he talked. At the end of the hour she had barely stirred. But it was time to study. He whipped out a book—the Civil Code—and thrust it into her face. “Property. Easements. I have 20 articles for tomorrow. Prompt me if I make a mistake.” 49 She shoved the book back at him. 50 “Steve, no.” 51 “What’s the matter with you? We always study together after smoking.” 52 “You study. Have you ever considered what a toll these afternoon sessions have taken on my class standing?” 53 It was true; the professors were cutting her to pieces at recitation. 54 “It’s your fault,” he said. “You could have refused!” 55 “I am refusing now.” 56 “Oh, Christ!” His voice rose, all he could think of were those twenty articles on Easements and how he was due to recite tomorrow. 19 57 “Steve, don’t get me wrong. I like you. Oh, don’t over-react; hasn’t any girl told you that to your face? I like you a whole lot, but that’s no reason for you to demand whole chunks of my time.” 58 “Demand? Who’s demanding? What are you talking about?” 59 “What about just now? I stood here listening to your blather for a full hour. Don’t you realize I could have read three whole cases instead?” 60 “Oh, Jesus Christ!” He was pale with outrage. “I ghought you wanted it. I had no intention of—you could have refused. You could have refused!” 61 SO WITHIN a single day he was in deep shit with Helen and at work. School was the only consolation. He loved the law: the mechanical interlocking of its pieces, the infinitesimal details. His books held the building blocks of life: everything, action, emotion, reduced to lowest terms, named and neatly catalogued. 62 But even that was slipping away. The hours each day at the NGO were wreaking havoc on his concentration. It was impossible to be completely alone. Looking up from his work, he inevitably encountered the haunted eyes of some client where she sat on the corner couch, her children crawling over her lap and making a mess of the magazines on the coffee table. Off in a croner the researchers dismembered their respective crushes and shrieked over body parts. The mothers and daughters on the couch listened and tried to reconcile the urbane upprclassmen of their tales with the cops and stevedores who came home drunk to fall on their women with punches and kicks and sex. 63 None of the clients seemed surprised to see him. They took the presence of a man in a law office for granted. He had no great love for them now, only horror. They waited unmoving, for half a day, to rise with sighs of relief when the head lawyer ushered them into an antechamber. Slowly, painfully, their stories came out: bitter grunts and croaks that he, who spoke English at home, could barely undserstand. Lackluster eyes steared at invisible points on the polished glass table. One woman sat for an eternity, shivering, until something gave and she began to weep, hoarse sobs, grief so profound and yet so crude that it was hardly human. The lawyer did not stop her. Steve sat hunched over the computer keyboard, hands over ears, hating the woman for making him feel as he did. 64 Running errands for the head lawyer he encountered them firsthand in the jeepneys: these men who were wellspring of such grief. Their sweat slicked his own pale forearms; they belched the foul odor from their empty bellies into his face. He examine their veined workers’ hands with the dirt under their fingernails, and with a mixture of revulsion an fascination imagined them kneading womanflesh, thick greasy fingers working their way up thighs, probing intimate folds and crevices. Babae tinuhog ng matanda. Hinoldap na, binarbikyu pa. That was how the Tagalog tabloids put it. Skewerd. Spindled. 65 What did they feel, these women? Did they cry out, close their eyes? Did they bleed? The questions haunted him, running around and around his head with the same desperate speed with which he chased after jeepneys: his face screwed up against the black fumes, he would hoist himself by one hand up into the stifling 20 metal interiors, to leap out at his stop, onto the searing hot pavement, already half-running to his destination, the impact of his landing shooting straight up into his leg to the knee that had been injured in a high school basketball game, the shock running up his calves and thighs, expending its full force on the small of his back. 66 At the end of the day, school and job behind him, he would collapse exhausted on his bed, looking up with disgust at the collection of paperbacks on the shelf, the science fiction and fantasy he’d pored over in high school and college, his old Dungeons and Dragons game sets. How naïve he’d been, and how content. At least there’d been none of this gooddamn guilt. The mirror at the entrance hall showed a pale-faced boy, eyes darkly circle beneath wire-frame glasses, skin breaking out from the pollution, hair and clothes reeking of the thousand and one odors of Manila’s jeepney-riding masses. He was 21 and looked 22. 67 The night shower washed away the dirt, if only from his surfaces. But it was marvelous to hold up his hands and watch the suds drip form them, long fingers clean and white anew. He thought of Helen—would she bleed too? 68 WHEN the midterm grades were announced, he knew he would have to drop Property. The three ugly letters—DRP—would make a huge foreign blot upon his transcript. He looped off, as though he’d lost his virginity. 69 You’re bleeding all over your books, Helen scribbled to him in the library. 70 “What?” he said. 71 She wrote into the margin of his notebook, her head inclined rather carelessly, he thought, as though she were trying to provoke him: Mens Rea=the psychological bleeding experienced by smart young men when they discover they never had the answeres after all. 72 “Jesus shit,” Steve said. His face burned. Helen sat there, smiling. 73 A couple of sophomores from another section sauntered by. “You two again,” one of them said, and the other clucked his tongue knowingly. 74 Steve leapt up, gathering up his books and making a beeline for the exit. She followed. 75 “Where are we going?” she said. He didn’t reply. They both knew where they were headed—to a spot on the ground floor they had discovered in their freshman year, sheltered from the sun by the thousand tons of stone that rose above it. They had not used it for days. 76 “Mens Rea,” he spat out the moment they were there. 77 “Mens rea indeed! Why don’t you ever write those little notes to yourself, Helen? Come on, write yourself up. You’ve bad mens rea for me since the first day of school.” 21 78 Her spine stiffened, but she had the grace not to deny it. “Do we really need this?” was what she said. “You’ll have to go work in a few minutes.” 79 Work. He’d forgotten about work. 80 He wrenched out a cigarette form the pack in his breast pocket. And then he knew what he would have to do. “I’m not going.” When she stared at him in surprise he went on, aware that he was losing control, “It was a dumb idea anyway. When I got the job I thought I was the most privileged man on earth. I risked everything, do you get it? Imagine me, Steven Prieto, working in the women’s movement. How must they have laughed when they found out. Enzo, Brian, the whole lot of them. Me putting on a skirt to try and please you, they must have said.” 81 The words were out. But his head still pouned—to the rhythm of the rock music that blared from the jeepnesy tearing through traffic. It was the rhythm of gross abandon, of sex. 82 “Steven,” she said. “What is this?” I don’t know where you’re coming form!” 83 “Stop playing coy,” he snarled at once. “You’re a feminist, aren’t you?” 84 “Hey, feminist doesn’t mean I waltz around to your music!” she shrilled back. 85 “Feminist maens you do anything you want, in any way you want, and nobody has the right to question you because, oh, you’re so dedicated, so holy. Argue any which way. Write any old thing. Order this, order that—“ 86 Helen’s mouth dropped open. 87 “Only woman can be researchers. Sit there for hours while some stupid bitch blubs her whole life story out as though only she had problem in the world. What are you anyway, lawyers or shrinks? Oh yes, men do get admitted, but all they do is operate the xerox machine, fix the lights, run the errands! I suppose you can’t stomach the notion of goddamened heat. But oh no, leave the deliver jobs to the man—he’s tough, he can handle it.” 88 “It takes heart, Steven. It takes heart.” 89 “Yes, it does. Heart, perod. Heart, the privileged signifier. Men don’t have hearts. On no. I suppose because I’m a man I can’t emphathize with your freaking uterine cancers, your Cinderella fantasies? You can’t even construct a decent legal argument. Premise, premise, premise, conclusion—simple! But oh no, structure must be over-thrown, structure is masculine. Jesus Christ! 90 She had backed away, without realizing it, against the railing; her hand crept blindly towared the solidity of the pillar behind her. Her eyes were round with amazement. He saw two tiny reflection of his own flushed face. 91 “If you’re talking about my stand on abortion—“ 92 “You have no stand on abortion!” 22 93 “Steve—“ 94 “Nor whores. Nor on rape!” 95 “But you’ve never respected my ideas enough to listen—“ 96 “You have no ideas!” 97 There was silence. He saw the rapid rise ad fall of her chest. There seemed to be something very very wrong with her face. 98 “Nebolous. You all are. Everything out of the poetry books of your mind. Everything hearsay. Oh pardon me, hersay. I can predict to the letter your every opinion. Listen to me. You’r not listening!” for she had turned away to retrieve her books from the railing. He yanked at her arm. She stood arrested, stockstill and poised for flight. 99 Slowly he released her. She did not move. He advanced, eyes were welling, indisteinct. 100 “You know what you’ve done?” she whispered. 101 “You’ll never make a good lawyer, Helen.” 102 “You know what those long monologues of yours have done to me?” 103 “Sentiments, emotions all the time. That’s not the law.” 104 “They’ve raped me, Steven,” she cried out, and her head bobbed with the force with which she flung the word at him. 105 “Jesus Christ!” 106 She had pulled the rug from under his feet. 107 “You rape people. You’ve cut me down, forced me back—I’ve spent an entire year talking to you, no, listening, nodding agreement, saying yes, yes to nurse that poor wounded rich-kid ego of yours. And look, I’m on the smoke-up list in Property. I’m flunking Torts. You don’t even care.’” 108 They fell back. Steven bunched his fists into the pockets of his trouser. Helen wept, just a couple of tears trickly discreetly down her cheeks. Steve’s old girlfriend had wept in the same way, when he had broken up with her shortly before entering law school. I’ve no time for emotions now, he’d told her astonished face. 109 Helen dried her eyes. “Steve, I’m sorry.” She edged over to thim. “I’ll be joining you in a couple of weeks; they’ve already hired me, over at your NGO. Things might get better then; they could modify assignments if we reasoned—” 23 stood over her. Her 110 “In a couple of weeks I’ll be gone,” he said. “My probationary period ends on the 30th.” It was now his turn to edge away. 111 “I was looking forward to working with you!” 112 “No, Helen. You only wanted to change me.” His own accusation made him smile. “If I lopped it off and offered it to you, would you be happy then? Helen?” 113 With a rapid gesture he slashed at his crotch, collected air and emptied his hand into hers. She gazed down at her palm as though a severed member did confront her. When at last she raised her eyes to him he was shocked, for it seemed that her whole countenance was falling apart, all the warmth and strength and secret shared laughter eroding away until what confronted him was a death mask, her death mask, a fading glint of comprehension in the eyes. 114 “So what do you want me to do?” she said in a tiny voice. 115 He shot his last few drops of venom into her: “Leave me alone.” 116 Helen collected her books and began to walk away. 117 God, he thought tiredly. God, it wasn’t enough. He wanted her to bleed. Just a trickle, or perhaps a stream, wetting her pants all down both legs: long strings of russet to speed past her ankles and pool about her shoes. But no, he wanted more; he wanted her blood on the polished floor, surging through the halls of the College, down the streets to flood manholes and turn fluttering scraps of paper into pulp; to leap up in sprays form the whelles of jeepneys, men bringing a mess from the pavements as they hauled themselves in, endeavoring to wipe the indelible stuff off their huge veined workers’ hands; to flow into a thousand and one kitchens, where babies screamed and the reek of cooking poisoned the air and women crouched soundless next to uncleared tables, doubled up to nurse their wounds, their faces hidden in their hands. 118 He raised his head. Helen was gone. He though he saw her, farther down the hall, figure reduced to a series of stick shapes against the haze of light from the main entrance. He wondered if he should call to her. Look, he wanted to say. Look what you did to me. He wanted to run after her and spin her around and yell in her face, Look look look you cut me. He wanted to tear at his own clothes. Se what you made me do, he wanted to say. He wanted to grab her palms and press them to his body. He felt a mad need to smear his own blood on her to take her hand and press it to his crotch and cry out, Look look, feel this, can you feel me bleeding. (1994) 24 Meet the Writer LAKAMBINI A. SITOY, also known as Bing Sitoy, writes in English. She has published two collections of short stories in the Philippines. Mens Rea and Other Stories was published by Anvil in 1999 and received a Manila Critics Circle National Book Award that same year. Jungle Planet was published by the University of the Philippines Press in 2006 and was shortlisted for the MCC National Book Award for that year. Sitoy is among 21 authors on the Man Asian Literary Prize's long list for 2008. The novel, Sweet Haven, is her first. She received the David T.K. Wong fellowship from the University of East Anglia, Norwich, United Kingdom in 2003. Her short stories have appeared in magazines such as Philippines Free Press, Philippine Graphic and Story Philippines. They have appeared in various anthologies in the Philippines, such as Likhaan Anthology of Poetry and Fiction (published by the University of the Philippines Press) and The Best Philippine Stories, a 2000 anthology published by Tahanan Books and edited by Isagani Cruz. Other stories have appeared in Hawaii; Wake, an anthology of published in Britain to benefit anthology of Southeast Asian Copenhagen in 2008. Manoa, the literary journal of the University of stories, essays and poems about Southeast Asia victims of the 2004 tsunami; and Ansigter, an short stories published by Forlaget Hjulet in Sitoy has received writing fellowships from the National Writers' Workshop in Dumaguete (1989) and the University of the Philippines National Writers Workshop (1990). She has also received nine prizes in the annual Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards and a Philippines Free Press Award (1994). As a journalist, Sitoy also served as a lifestyle and cultural section editor and columnist for the Manila Times. She was an MA guest student at Roskilde University in Denmark in 2006. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lakambini_Sitoy) 25 BIAG NI LAM-ANG Pedro Bukaneg 1 God, the Holy Ghost, illumine, Lord, my thought so I can relate faithfully the accont of the life of a man. 2 In the old, old days there were a couple who had just been united in holy wedlock. 3 As the days rolled by, the wife conceived the child which was the fruit of the sacrament they had received. 4 She ate a variety of fruits like green tamarind, pias,1 and daligan;2 5 Young coconut fruits, guavas about to ripen, oranges, and lolo-kisen.3 And for meals she ate these: 6 7 8 “You go and see the bamboos we planted on Mount Kapariaan and cut down some. Panapana4 and maratangtang,5 ararosip6 and aragan,7 tirem8 and shrimps; Pingpinggan and im-immoko, loslosi11 and pokpoklo,12 13 14 leddangan and soso —these she liked much to eat. 9 10 9 When she reached the seventh month of her pregnancy, she and her husband were filled with joy at the proximity of her confinement. 10 Namongan then thought preparing a balitang15 for confinement. 11 She told her husband, “Ay,16 my husband Don Juan, kindly go and cut bamboos for my balitang. 12 “It is necessary that we now prepare all things needed for the coming of our child. 13 “So that we shall not be found unprepared when the day comes. The balitang then will be ready for me to lie on.” 14 Her husband Don Juan therefore started out; and when he reached the clump of bamboos he went around it once.17 15 He then commanded the wind to blow. The rain fell in torrents. The 14 of her A species of snail with a sharp-pointed shell. 15 A sort of bed, made of bamboo, one end more raised than the other, where women about to deliver are to lie in confinement. 16 Note the frequent use of this word throughout the poem. This word is characteristic of the mountain tribes. See T. Inglis Moore, “Kaatong: A Novel of Bontok and Ifugao”, Philippine Magazine, June, 1932 – December, 1932. 17 There is a superstition that when a man goes to the forest to cut trees, he should first implore the consent of the spirit of the forest before he fells a tree, otherwise misfortune would befall him. don Juan’s going around the clump of bamboos, a strange procedure, can perhaps be explained by this superstition. 1 Averrhoa bilimbi. Tagalog: kamias. 2 Averrhoa carambola. Tagalog: balimbing. 3 Limnanthemu cristatum. 4 Echinotrix calamaris. 5 Tripneustes gratilla. 6 Antidesma ghaesembilla. A green seaweed which looks like a cluster of tiny grapes. 7 Najas graminea. An aquatic fern. 8 Oysters. 9 A sea product similar to the Placuna placenta or windowpane oyster. 10 A bolo-like shell. 11 A kind of shell fish. 12 A green sea-weed with finger-like leaves. 13 A species of snail. 26 clouds were like unto a abyss—so black were they. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 deep 23 To engage the checkered Igorots in a fight. In the meantime, Namongan lay in confinement. Lightning and thunder in quick succession attacked the clump of bamboos and trimmed it like hair. 24 “Ay”, Don Juan said, “it would be shameful on my part should I carry you, bamboos.” The bamboos therefore went before and Don Juan followed after. All available midwives were called for to assist in the delivery, including Old Marcos, the diver, Alisot, and Pasho, the rich man; 25 But all their efforts to a successful delivery availed not. And they thought of an old woman, shorn of almost all her strength. When he reached home, the bamboos arranged themselves in the houseyard. 26 And she succeded in helping Namongan to a successful issue. The newborn was a boy who had already the gift of speech: 27 “Ay, mother Namongan, when you have me baptized, baptize me with the name Lamang, and my godfather shall be the old man Gibuan.” 28 And when he was baptized, he asked his mother Namongan about his father: 29 “Ay, mother, this I should like to know: whether I have a father or none, whether I am of honorable or dishonorable birth.” 30 And Namongan said in answer. “Ay, my son Lam-ang, as regards thy father when you were still in my womb, he went away. 31 “He went to war with the checkered Igorots in the Igorot country, and since then he has not returned.” 32 And Lam-ang said, “Ay, mother Namongan, kindly give me leave to search for him.” 33 And Namongan answered, “Ay, my son, my brave Lam-ang, dare not And Namongan said, “My husband Don Juan, I need firewood such as molave and gasatan18 for my lyingin, And also dangl19a and guava20 stripped of its bark. Also you go and buy a jar and a stove on which to warm myself. “Also prepare water for my bath and a one-man pot so hat we shall have something to keep the kadkad-dua21 of our child in.” When he had all these thins prepared, Don Juan set out for the blackest22 mountain by way of the river, 18 Palaquium luzoniense. Tagalog: dolitan, bagalangit. 19 Vitex negundo. An aromatic shrub with digitately 5-foliate leaves and blue flowers. 20 This and 19 and 18 are considered good for firewood, especially if used in a delivery room, because their coals do not easily turn to ashes. 21 The placenta. There are a few customs among the Ilocanos attending its disposal. In some communities the custom is to keep the placenta in a pot and hang it up from a tree. In other places, it is floated in a pot or basket down a river or brook out to sea. 22 This adjective perhaps indicates the distance or height of the mountain. Far mountains are mountains. 27 usually blacker than near go because you are still too young and your limbs are brittle. 34 35 36 the absent—those traveling.27 “You are a baby scarcely nine months old.” Brave Lam-ang, nevertheless, went inspite of his mother’s opposition. To war he went in the Igorot country, hoping there to find his father. He pocketed several kinds of magic stones, such as those of the sagang,23 the tangraban,24 the lawlawigan,25 and the musang.26 who are 42 When he had eaten his fill, he said, “It is but meet that I take a rest.” 43 He reached for his shield and lay it by his side and his spear he planted on the ground near his feet. 44 He then drew his sword, his trusty weapon, and presently fell asleep. 45 And there came to him a vision, and in that vision he saw someone who spoke to him thus: 37 He wended his way through thickets of brush and light bamboo, his tremendous speed made possible by the magic stone of the centipede he had with him. 46 “Arise, my friend Lam-ang, tarry not and resume your journey immediately for the Igorots are already feasting around the head of your father.” 38 When he reached the valley of the river, he saw a tere which was the biggest in the countryside. 47 Lam-ang rose from his fitful sleep, gathered his weapons, started out, and walked on and on. 39 Under this tree was the resting place of the tattoed Igorots, and here Lam-ang decided to wait for his enemies. 48 And when he reached the blackest mountain, near Mamdili and Dagman,28 he came unto an Igorot gathering. 40 He looked about him and saw a big root which could serve for a temporary stove. 49 And saw conspicuous in the dining place the head of his father in a sarukang.29 41 Immediately he washed and poured rice into his pot, a one-man pot, but which could contain food even for 50 And Lam-ang said unto the feast makers, “Ay, checkered Igorots, I should like to know what crime my father had committed that you 23 27 A wild animal resembling the cat, with sharp, fiery eyes. 24 A bird larger than the quail and resembling it. 25 A kind of song bird whose main characteristic is its activity. It loves to fly and sing and is rarely at rest. 26 A civet-cat. This and the foregoing animals and birds are believed to mess magic stones. Persons who could secure these stones, it is believed, would be endowed with magic powers. This must be a magic pot, for although it is only big enough to contain food for one man, it can leave enough extra food for the absent. 28 Igorot towns or villages, Mamdili is Makulili in the de los Reyes version. 29 A kind of container supported on a pole. It is usually made by splitting the end of a round bamboo two or more meters long and weaving the split end into a conical form. The lower part of the bamboo serves for a post. A funnelshaped artifact made of bamboo used for picking fruits from a tree is also called a sarukang. 28 should have beheaded him. It is only just that you answer for your crime.” 51 52 The tattooed Igorots answered, “Ay, our friend Lam-ang, you had better return home; if not you will surely suffer the fate of your father.” Lam-ang retorted, “Ay, tattooed Igorots, I would not be satisfied if I should fight only such men as you, Igorot, chiefs. 53 “You, Bumakas, summon here as one man all your people: 54 “Those of Dardarat30 and Padang, or Nueva, Dogodog, and Tapaan, of Mamookan and Kawayan. 55 “Of Amangabon and Gambang, Lipay and Kapariaan, Sumadag and Lukutan, Tupinaw and Bandan, 56 57 58 him on all sides, and now the fight began. “Of Sambangki and Loy-a, Bakong and Sasaba, and Tebteb and Bakayawan.” When the summons had been sent out. To all these towns, the inhabitants were like unto roosters, hens and chickens at their master’s call—so many were they. O, so many were they it was impossible to determine their number. Lam-ang rubbed the magic stone of the lawlawigan31with his hand; 59 And immediately jumped forth and ran at a bound toward the plain. 60 Making a big sound with his arms and arm-pits, and groins and legs as he ran. His enemies surrounded 61 The spears rained thick on Lamang, like heavy rain of an evening, but he caught these spears 62 As he would receive buyo.32 remained unhurt. Shortly Igorots ran short of spears. 63 And such-like weapons, as doros and pika.33 These weapons could not touch the body of Lam-ang at all. Brave Lam-ang now announced to them: 64 “It is now my turn to take revenge; I draw you, my sword, my trusty weapon—and he drew it and struck it on the ground; 65 And he ate such things as had stuck to the weapon because they were a good antidote against harm. 66 And now he declared, “Ay, checkered Igorots now be ready,” and with his hands he summoned the low strong wind. 67 And on it he was borne. Then he charged his enemies, felling them with his double-edged sword right and left, as easily as felling banana plants. 68 His weapon went on with its work of destruction until all his enemies lay dead, save one. 69 Whom he wanted to make fun of. He seized the tattooed Igorot and said to him, “This is now your end.” He the 32 This indicates how totally immune from harm Lam-ang was because of the talismans he possessed. 33 Weapons of native make similar to the spear of lance. 30 This and the proper names immediately following are names of Igorot towns and villages. 31 See Footnote No. 25. 29 70 71 And then he let him go and, taking no pity on him, said in derision: 72 “This I did to you so your relatives will have something to remember me by, and as a memento of this event, I shall also tie up these spears in a bundle. 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 nine, nine times nine’36 to come here. And he untoothed him, dug out his eyes, and cut off his ears and fingers. “Now, you, field of combat, I bid you good-bye”—and brave Lam-ang left for home. He went home to his mother Namongan. Like unto the river Vigan34 was the blood that flowed from out the bodies of the dead Igorots. And when he arrived at his town Nalbuan, he said to his mother Namongan, “I should like to know what fault my father committed against you that he should have left you.” And Namongan replied, “Ay, my son Lam-ang, as for your father, sir, I know of nothing he should have hated me for, because we have never quarreled.” And Lam-ang said unto his mother, “Punishment should be your due, had you not reasoned well. 80 “I want them to accompany me to the river Amburayan and wash my hair, which has become dirty and sticky because of the war which lasted all day yesterday. 81 “Ay, mother, come let us go and clean the palay in the old barn, the barn whose posts are of gasatan37 and whose floor and rafters are of der-an38 and bellang.39 82 “Ay, mother Namongan, take also some rice straw”—Namongan, took some and they went to sweep. 83 “The entrance to the barn was daubed over with the saliva and excreta of spiders and cockroaches, for it had been long since it was last opened. 84 “It is now nine years40 that we have not taken from our palay samosam, ibuan, and lagingan, 85 “Lumanog and lampadan, rattektek and makan, gagaynet and balasang, also kimmattuday.41 86 When they were about to finish cleaning the palay, Lam-ang said to his girl companions, “Ay, my sisters, take from each kind of 36 This number either is mysterious or denotes a multitude. 37 See Footnote No. 18. 38 A species of durable timber. 39 Hardwood obtained from the trunk of old trees. 40 For palay to be kept in a barn untouched for nine years is an eloquent proof that its owner is very rich. This long storage is possible because in the Ilocos, unlike in the Central Luzon provinces, the rice grain is cut together with about a foot long of straw, so that it can be tide into large and small bundles. 41 Samosam to kimmattuday. Varieties of rice. “Ay mother Namongan, kindly sound the longgangan,35 for I want my girl friends who number ‘twice 34 A branch of the present Abra River which floats north of Vigan, Ilocos Sur. The Abra River is one of the swiftest rivers in the Philippines and has, because of its swift current, exacted a heavy toll in human life. 35 Perhaps a kind of gong of native make. 30 palay and what you are able to clean will be yours.” 87 When they had finished more than one baar,42 again told his comanions, you will bundle up what carry. cleaning Lam-ang “Each of you will 88 “Also don’t forget to take the coconut shell and some embers to ignite the straw with. 89 “Ay, my sisters, you will also return the embers because they are precious they being those of the patikalang.43 We shall take a bath in the Amburayan River.44 90 “I want to try my strength and skill with the crocodile, reputed to be the biggest ever known in these regions, which is said to inhabit the river.” And so they went. 91 He took a walk on the bank of the river and saw whirlpools in the water caused by the crocodile. 92 And Lam-ang said, “Ay, my sisters burn the rice straw now.” And when the straw would not burn, 93 94 it was a burning house. Seeing that they could not suppress the fire, Lam-ang summoned the rain, Lam-ang summoned the strong wind and the fire rose in flames; the smoke was so thick it drew the wonder of the people of San Juan;45 And the natives of Baknotan46 ran to the scene because they thought 95 Which fell in torrents, the clouds, which looked like an abyss, and the lightning and thunder; but it was long before the fire was put out. 96 And Lam-ang said, “Ay, my sisters, kindly take the coconut shell, come with me to the middle of the river, and there wash my hair.” 97 When they had washed his hair, the bagsang47 and lobsters swam ashore, the kampa48 floated, and eels came out aplenty49 98 And brave Lam-ang said, “Ay, my sisters, don’t wait in anxiety, for now I will dive deep and try my mettle with the huge crocodile.” 99 Lam-ang dived upstream but could not find the crocodile because it had gone downstream; when the animal went upstream and Lam-ana downstream, the two came face-toface. 100 Then began the battle royal. In his utter fury, Lam-ang charged the crocodile and without much struggle overcame it and carried it on his back ashore. 101 And Lam-ang said to the girls, “Ay, my sisters, you pull out its teeth because they are a good talisman on journeys. 42 Ten large bundles of rice grain. Perhaps a species of hardwood. 44 The Amburayan River, which flows westward south of Tagudin, Ilocos Sur, is about 50 kilometers north of Nalbuan, Lam-ang’s home town. 45 From San Juan to Amburayan is a distance of around 40 kilometers, that the fire the girls built must have been big like that of a burning house to attract the attention of people many kilometers away. 46 A town in northern La Union. 43 47 A kind of small fish with a silvery appearance belonging to the family bassidae. 48 Rhyacicthys aspro. A species of goby which are small fishes, carnivorous bottom dwellers living along the shores of lakes, rivers, and fresh water swamps. 49 This general pestilence of the river inhabitants is attributed to the dirt from Lamang’s hair. 31 102 “And now, my sisters, it is time that we return to the house we left.” 103 104 105 110 As soon as they were home, he told his mother Namongan, “Ay, mother Namongan, please reward these my sisters; give them each a peso for a step to and from the river.”50 “She is a beautiful maiden and industrious because it is said she can spin nine lalabayan55 in one evening.” 111 And when they had been given their reward: “Ay, mother Namongan please open the second store room and give me my most precious clothes, To this Namongan said, “Ay my son, my brave Lam-ang, dare not go, sir, because I am sure Doña Ines Kannoyan won’t care to love such a man as you. 112 “For now I shall don them: the trousers with the galon,51 the shirt with the sombra, and the kerchief with the solsol,52 which my sisters embroidered.” “Many rich natives, and Spaniards too, it is said, have offered her their suit, but she did not care for any of them. Would she then care to love such a man as you?” 113 And Lam-ang replied, “Ay my mother Namongan, despite your advice I will just go to Kalanutian. Who can ever tell if she will learn to love me?” 114 Namongan again replied, “Ay my son Lam-ang, if it is a wife you are after, sir, there are many girls in this town. All you need to do is to pick out the one you like and love.” 115 And brave Lam-ang replied, “Ay mother Namongan, as for that, 116 “None of the girls you mention can arouse my love. Now please don’t detain me for I am going without fail.” 117 Namongan again said, “My son Lam-ang, hear me, sir, and dare not go, 118 “For she might pour upon you a basinful of urine, and it will be a pity if you will be thus humiliated.” 119 To this Lam-ang’s rooster, pet hen, and white dog said in chorus: 106 And after a while, “Mother, please open also the third store room and bring out the nine chains of gold wire, 107 “Which melts when put in the sun, wire which was my heirloom from my great grandparents; 108 109 “I shall use it as a string for my beloved pets-my white rooster, my hen with the yellowish-orange legs, and my hairy dog with the olay.53 “For I should like to pay court to Doña Ines Kannoyan who, I have learned, lives in the town of Kalanutian;54 50 According to legend Lam-ang was so rich he could buy the whole south Ilocos—the present La Union, a part of Benguet, and the southern half of Ilocos Sur—with his money. 51 A cotton, silk, or worsted fabric used for dress trimmings. 52 Sombra and solsol are kinds of embroidery work. 53 A growth of hair around the neck distinguished from the rest of the hair by its color. 54 Kalanutian is now a small barrio of Sinait, Ilocos Sur. 55 A skein of thread. Named after a spinning instrument of the same name. 32 120 121 122 And so Lam-ang said, “Mother, kindly give me the coconut oil you extracted only yesterday, for I want to pour some on my hen; and we shall wear our best for our journey to Kalanutian. “Ay, Mother Namongan, also give me the nine chains of gold wire.” 123 When he received the chains of gold wire, he cut strings for his white rooster, 124 And also for his hairy dog. When he had stringed them, he prepared for his journey. 125 He took his feathered rooster in his arms, and when he was about to leave, his mother said, “Ay, my son Lam-ang, may God accompany you. 126 was of the size of two feet put together. “Ay, mother Namongan, according to our dream yesterday, Doña Ines Kannoyan will doubtless become your daughter-in-law.” “Be careful about yourself for you know too well the dangers that lurk by the wayside.” 130 Sumarang inquired, “Ay, my brave friend Lam-ang, what forest and mountain are you bound for to do your trapping and hunting?” 131 And Lam-ang also asked, “Ay, friend Sumarang, may I know the land whence you came and town where you went diversion?” 132 And Sumarang answered, “If you wish to know, my friend, I came from Kalanutian where I went to pay court to Doña Ines Kannoyan.” 133 and Lam-ang said, “That same place, my friend Sumarang, is my destination, and your aim, too, is my aim in going there.” 134 To this Sumarang replied, “Ay, my friend Lam-ang, you had better not continue your journey, for surely Doña Ines Kannoyan will not accept the love of such a man as you. 135 “There came many rich men and handsome Spaniards, but Doña Ines Kannoyan did not even deign to show them her face. Ay, my friend, better not proceed any further.” 136 And Lam-ang said, “Ay, my friend Sumarang, now let us each go our different ways, for I am determined to try my luck with Doña Innes Kannoyan.” 137 Now said Sumarang, “Be ready, for if you cannot parry my poisoned weapon, this surely will be the end of your life.” 138 Lam-ang answered, “Be it as you will, my friend Sumarang. I am all ready.” 127 And Lam-ang said, “Ay, mother Namongan, may God remain with you.”56 128 And now he departed and walked in the direction of Kalanutian, home town of Doña Ines Kannoyan. 129 He walked on and on, and when he was about halfway his trip, he met a man, Sumarang whose eyes were as big as a plate and whose nose 56 Up to the present day the Ilocanos express their words of greeting in something of a minute ceremony. Instead of saying simply “Good morning,” they say “God give you good morning,” instead of “Thank you,” they say “God will thank you.” Religion has had a tremendous influence in their life. 33 my too the for 139 Sumarang drew his spear struck at his friend Lam-ang. 140 Lam-ang received the spear as he would receive buyo from the hands of a maiden. 141 He caught it between his little and ring fingers and swung it nine times around his neck and back, and then addressed hi foe: 142 143 addressed him thus, “Ay, brother Lam-ang, quicken your steps, and “Ay, my friend Sumarang, I give you back your weapon because I don’t want to be indebted to you of it. Besides, its handle is warm from use, and mine own spear is now cool from disuse. “Ay, my friend Sumarang, be ready for here comes my spear, and if you cannot evade my thrust, you will fall dead and be left miserably to rot here. ay, I forewarn you.” 149 “And let us embrace, for the woman Saridandan is already very eager to see you, her eyes having grown tired searching you out in the distance from the outer window. 150 “The buyo here on this tray has become dry waiting for you, my brother Lam-ang. Brother, will you let me know whence you came?” 151 And Lam-ang answered, “Ay, sister Saridandan, if you wish to know, I came from my father and from my mother Namongan.58 152 “Ay, sister Saridandan, please don’t detain me any longer, for I am bound for Kalanutian so I may be able to see Doña Ines Kannoyan.” 153 To which Saridandan replied, “Ay, how cruel you are, brother, you don’t even give me the satisfaction of acceding to my request.” 144 He summoned the strong wind with his hands and at the same time dealt Sumarang a blow. 145 Sumarang was thrust through, and over nine hills he was carried away by the spear. 154 Brave Lam-ang walked on determined to reach his destination and eek out his luck. 146 And now Lam-ang said, “A man with a bad character ends that way. Ay, my friend Sumarang, it is time to go and now I leave you here in this place of combat.” 155 147 Brave Lam-ang took his white rooster in his arms and resumed his journey. Upon reaching the town of Kalanutian, he was surprised at the number of suitors entertaining themselves in the yard of Kannoyan’s house; so great was it, it would be hard to look for one’s companions. 156 One could walk on the heads of the suitors without touching the ground, on could plant rice seeds in the holes made by the spears, and one could plant rice seedlings on their sputum. 148 He walked on and on and presently came to the house of a woman, Saridandan57 by name, who 57 Her name itself indicates that Saridandan was a woman of easy virtue. Saridandan or Saridangdang—an Ilocano word—means a woman who never takes life seriously. 58 This passage connotes a more humorous, if rather vulgar, meaning in the original than it connotes in the translation. 34 157 Lam-ang asked himself, How shall I be able to get near the outhouse where Doña Ines Kannoyan is, with such a big crowd as this? 165 “Ay, brother Lam-ang, come let us hence to the house under the huge tree walled with light bamboo which breaks when dried in the sun.” 158 Undaunted, he edged his way through the crowd, and when he had reached the middle of the houseyard. 166 Once in the house Kannoyan said, “Ay, father, to whom I owe much favor kindly bring out the chair gilded with the gold wrought by the northerners.” 159 And let his rooster down on the ground, it flapped its wings and the outhouse toppled down. The noise attracted the attention of Doña Ines Kannoyan and she looked out of the window. 167 And when they were seated, Kannoyan said, “Ay, Mother Unnayan, to whom I owe much favor, please cook rice in our oneman pot. 168 “Which, though small, can contain food even for the absent—those who are traveling.61 It is high time we prepare the dinner of my brother, Don Lam-ang. 169 “And father, kindly catch and cook the castrated cock which I have especially intended for him when he comes this way.” Wearing her best she went downstairs, and when she reached the middle of the yard, 170 Walking in the direction of Lamang, the wealthy natives and the Spaniards looked on shame-faced and crestfallen. When food was served, they sat down to eat, Lam-ang taking his rice from the place where Doña Ines Kannoyan took hers, 171 And picking from the fish dish where Doña Ines Kannoyan picked from; 172 And from the bowl from which Lamang sipped his soup also sipped the modest and virtuous maiden Kannoyan.62 160 Then the hairy dog growled and the outhouse arose reconstructed. The dog had renovated the old and had made something from nothing59 161 And the woman told her daughter, “Ay, my daughter Kannoyan, put on your best dress, for here comes your brother, the brave Lam-ang.” 162 163 164 And Kannoyan said, “Brother Lamang, quicken your pace and give me your hands and let us embrace because the maiden Kannoyan is now very eager to see you.60 59 This evidently refers to the destruction and reconstruction of the outhouse, but there is no relation between this incident and “making something from nothing”—a feat attributed to the dog. 60 Whether this was really a custom among the ancient Ilocano women is to be seriously doubted. To the Ilocanos, Kannoyan is the ideal type of woman—the paragon of all the virtues. She had spurned all her suitors and surely it could not be possible that she could fall in love with Lam-ang, whom she had never met before, in so short a time and embrace him in the presence of the other suitors. It must be remembered that this poem is mainly for entertainment and so abounds in overstatements and implausible incidents. This surely is one of such incidents. 61 See Footnote No. 27. 62 It will be understood by this passage that Kannoyan and Lam-ang ate from the same plates. This was partly from custom and partly 35 173 174 175 176 177 178 “And take some green leaves from the betel plant which smiles at one’s approach and winks when one picks its leaves. “Ay, mother Unnayan, you also kindly pick some fruits from the areca nut which laughs when one picks its fruits, and let us prepare buyo for my brother, the brave Lam-ang. “Mother, Unnayan, please roll some cigars from our tobacco batekan which was grown in the east of Cagayan.” When all these were prepared, Kannoyan’s parents inquired of Lam-ang, “Ay, our son Lam-ang, will you kindly let us know the purpose which brought you here?” And Lam-ang’s white, yellow-legged rooster answered, “We came here, sir and madam, so that we may pay our respects to your daughter Kannoyan; 179 “And should you be willing, our master should like to offer his suit to your daughter.” 180 And Kannoyan’s parents answered, “Ay, our son Lam-ang, if you can give us a dowry. 181 be able to give it, then please don’t take our refusal hard to heart.”63 After the meal, Kannoyan told her mother, “Mother Unnayan, kindly go to that inclosure yonder, 182 And the rooster said, “Lam-ang, sir and madam, is ready to comply with all your demands.” 183 Now, said the old man, “Ay, my son Lam-ang, you direct your eyes to the middle of this inclosure and you will see that the stones on the path are of gold. 184 “All our landagan64 are of the purest gold. Ay, my son Lam-ang, you spread your eyes, 185 “And look toward our front yard. There are two figures of a rooster, four of a hen, two of a lobster—and all these are of pure gold65 186 “Ay, my son Lam-ang, look about you and all you see are the riches of Kannoyan. 187 “In our house, which we have inherited from our ancestors, are two gold balls—playthings of Kannoyan. 188 “Our tektek and gaganayan66 also are of pure gold; the same is true 63 This ancient custom of requiring a dowry of a suitor before giving a daughter in marriage still survives in the region and undoubtedly will remain an institution among the people for many generations more to come. 64 A hard thing, usually a stone, on which to wash clothes. 65 According to Dr. Jose P. Bantug, the gold objects mentioned in this poem many have existed among the early people of the north, he himself having some of such objects. 66 The gagan-ayan is a frame, usually of wood and bamboo, on which the unwoven thread is first sorted before it goes to the loom. The tektek are a part of the gagan-ayan. “All that we ask of you, you may take her to wife, but should you not from care for each other. Even at present many peasant families in the Philippines still eat from one big family bowl of rice. What was probably not the custom then was Lam-ang’s and Kannoyan’s sipping soup from the same bowl. But that can be explained by their care for each other. 36 of our longgangan67 salapayan.68 189 and our The mother of Kannoyan said, “Ay, my son Lam-ang, if you can duplicate 190 “All the things we have enumerated to you, you will be free to take in matrimony our daughter Kannoyan.” 191 And Lam-ang said, “As for that, mother Unnayan, I can assure you that even after I have given all you ask for, my patrimony will not yet suffer any great loss. 192 193 194 195 “The contents of my fish ponds will not all be exhausted to meet your demands; also I have extensive fishing grounds in the land of the Igorots. “Then there is my heritage multiplied nine times from my great grandparents, grandparents, father, and mother. If the brave Lam-ang will still run short, “I also have two gold tradeships plying between here and the Chinese country trading in porcelain. I have commercial connections with the king of Puanpuan, “My relative in that Chinese land. My sampan has gone there on a voyage, and probably now it has returned with its cargo of porcelain.”69 67 Parts of the lalabayan. This must not be confused with the longgangan explained in Footnote No. 35. 68 Clothesline. 69 Lam-ang, by most of his speeches but mainly by this speech, shows that he is like the heroes of most primitive epics—a braggart. As regards the trade in porcelain Lam-ang mentions, there is historical truth in it. See H. Otley Beyer, 196 Said the parents of Kannoyan, “Our son Lam-ang, return home now to your town Nalbuan and tell your mother what has come to pass.” 197 Lam-ang answered, “Ay, father, and you too mother Unnayan, when I come back I shall fire a salvo when I sail into the port of Sabangan— and that shall be a sign that I am back.” 198 Lam-ang took leave of his hosts and journeyed home. 199 When he was gone, Kannoyan said to her parents, “Father, to whom I owe much favor, and you too mother Unnayan, 200 “Worry not. Let us decorate all the way from here to Sabangan, making it as lively and beautiful as during the feast of Corpus Christi.” 201 And her parents said, “All your wishes, daughter Kannoyan, shall be fulfilled so you may not have cause to say aught against us.” 202 Now Lam-ang arrived at his home town Nalbuan and greeted his mother, “Ay mother Namongan, 203 “How do I find you. I have now arrived from Kalanutian, home town of Doña Ines Kannoyan.” 204 And to this Namongan said, “My son by the grace of God which we can never repay, your mother is well. 205 “My son, may I know how you fared in your quest?” And the white rooster answered, “The maiden Kannoyan will surely be your daughter-in-law.” “The Philippines November 1921. 37 Before Magellan,” Asia, 206 207 Lam-ang said, “You please sound the longgangan70 so our towns people will come here, and we shall all sail on my two ships for my wedding. 216 But the two ships would not move until Lam-ang slapped their sterns. 217 When they sailed into the port of Sabangan, Lam-ang fired a salvo, and by this signal Doña Ines Kannoyan knew that Lam-ang was already back. 218 And she said, “Ay, my father, and you too mother Unnayan, brother Lam-ang has already arrived, for he has fired a salvo at Sabangan. “We shall now load all the things needed for the festivities such as plates and bowls, 208 “Pigs and goats, vegetables and fish, gargaret71 and such-like things. 209 “Pots and basins too, pans big and small, and drinking and looking glass.” 219 “Ay, father and mother, let us dress up and go and welcome my brother Lam-ang at the sea-shore.” 210 When they had assembled together all their towns people, Lam-ang addressed the assemblage: 220 They went and when they reached Sabangan, they found Lam-ang there waiting together with his mother. 211 “My townspeople, let us now board m two ships and set sail for Kalanutian, town of my would-be bride, Doña Ines Kannoyan. I should like you to attend our wedding festivities.” 221 And Kannoyan said, “Quicken your pace, brother Lam-ang, and give me your hand and let us embrace, for the maiden Kannoyan is now eager to see you. 212 And when all the people had boarded, Lam-ang addressed himself to his mother, “Ay, mother Namongan, please make ready 222 “Ay, brother Lam-ang, you let all your townspeople come ashore so they may change their clothes with these I have brought.” 213 “Kannoyan’s trousseau, her slippers embroidered with gold, her wedding ring capped on with pearl stone, 223 And to Lam-ang’s townsfolk: “These clothes you put on in place of the old will each of them be yours.” 214 “Also her two combs and her two bracelets.” Namongan gathered all these things and wrapped them up, ready to be presented to her daughter-in-law. 224 And the woman Namongan said, “Ay, my sister, the beautiful Unnayan, 225 “It is now time we went to the house we left at Kalanutian.” And they went. 226 And when they arrived at the house of Doña Ines Kannoyan, they immediately rested from the fatigues of the voyage. 215 And now Lam-ang said, “Come, mother, let us now board one of the ships.” Once on board, they unfurled the sails. 70 See Footnote No. 35. Household effects and kitchen utensils in general. 71 38 227 228 She put on her embroidered slippers, her wedding ring capped on with pearl stone, her five combs, and her two bracelets. 229 Brave Lam-ang dressed up too. He put on his laced trousers, 230 His embroidered camisa, his 72 kerchief with the sambiri, his embroidered slippers, and his hat kagrang.73 231 bell seemed breaking. On the morrow, which was Monday, Doña Ines Kannoyan dressed up for the wedding. Now the bride and the bridegroom went to the church amid music and the loud ringing of the church bell. 232 And when they had reached the church, the curate priest entered to perform the wedding ceremonies.74 233 Bride and bridegroom marched to the altar amid the strains of wedding music, and presently mass was said. on the point of 237 When the wedding party arrived home, a huge crowd assembled at the house for the festivities. 238 And now the townspeople of brave Lam-ang and those of Kannoyan began the ceremonial dances: the fandango and the sagamantika.76 239 About dinner time prepared the table. 240 And now all the people sat down to meal, the bride and the bride groom sitting on both sides of an old man. 241 And Unnayan added, saying, “Hear what I have to say. The plates you use will each be yours, and you wrap them up and take them home.” 242 And when dinner was over, the people resumed dancing, and they danced without rest till evening. 243 And Kannoyan said, “Ay, brother Lam-ang, I should like to see the way you carry yourself, and if I shall find any faults in your walking, I shall return you to your mother.” the cooks 234 And mass over, bride and bride groom, the womanly Kannoyan and the brave Lam-ang, rose up and left the church. 235 And Unnayan said, “Ay, my sister, my abalayan75 let us now accompany them home,” and each step Doña Ines Kannoyan took, 244 The heat was so great the bride and bridegroom excused themselves from the crowd so they could refresh themselves outside. 236 Was followed by a gun-fire, and the smoke from the gun served as a shelter from the sun. The church 245 Kannoyan said to the brave Lamang, “Let us repair to the newlybuilt recreation cottage.” 246 Once there, Kannoyan husband Lam-ang: 72 Edge like teeth of a saw or the like. 73 A home-made helmet. 74 Those who believe that this is a preSpanish poem say that the Christian atmosphere of the story was infused into it to help facilitate the evangelization work of the missionaries among the people. 75 Joint mother-in-law. 76 told her An ancient dance, peculiar to Pangasinan, danced in wedding feasts. 39 247 “Brother Lam-ang, now please walk before me so I may see your carriage and your style of walking. 248 “And if I shall notice any faults, I shall send you back to you mother Namongan.” 249 Ay, Lam-ang took five steps and Kannoyan said, “Ay brother Lamang, 250 251 252 253 254 255 “Ay, sister Unnayan, my abalayan, may I learn some of the manners and eccentricities of our daughter?” “I don’t like your carriage because you don’t know how to wear your shirt and trousers, you have bow legs you walk with no elegance, keeping to yourself the whole path, and you need a haircut very much.”77 And Lam-ang replied, “Ay, Doña Ines Kannoyan, that is my natural style, and it is the style of dressing and walking of the wealthy class in my home town Nalbuan, which is located east of the town Naguilian. “Ay, Doña Ines Kannoyan, may I see also your carriage and the way you walk? I am afraid you will fare worse.” Kannoyan took five steps, and now the brave Lam-ang observed, “Ay, Doña Ines Kannoyan, I also don’t like your deportment. You carry your legs in a funny way, and your steps suggest an indecent movement.” And now said Namongan to Unnayan, her joint mother-in-law, 256 And Unnayan answered, “Ay, as regards Ines Kannoyan, it is full moon when she leaves on an errand and last quarter when she returns 257 “When she goes to the river to fetch water, she examines al the stones on the shores of the river, for she mistakes them for shrimps the anggapan78 which floats down the river when its waters rise.” 258 And this said the woman Unnayan, “I too should like to know something about our son Lam-ang.” 259 And Namongan answered, “Ay, my sister, as for Lam-ang, it is first quarter when you send him on an errand and last quarter when he returns.79 260 “When he goes to the forest, he sleeps in the shade of almost every tree there.” 261 Then said the woman Namongan, “Ay, abalayan let us now bring them to Nalbuan.” 262 Now all the townspeople of Doña Kannoyan as well as those of Don Lam-ang went to Sabangan. 263 They boarded the two ships, and when they were all on board they hoisted their sails. 264 But the ships would not move. Wherefore Lam-ang slapped the sterns, and they started to sail 77 The humor of this passage is better expressed in the original. As for cutting the hair short, there must be some misinformation. The early Ilocanos did not cut their hair short as we do now. It must be remembered that the times this poem deals with were during the early Spanish occupation when the natives had not learned to cut their hair short. 78 Lobsters. These observations aim to show that Kannoyan and Lam-ang are slow of foot and lazy, which is contrary to what has been said of them so far. These remarks should be taken only for their humor, and not for their truth. 79 40 away, And they were favored by a strong wind. 265 266 267 268 When they came into port near Nalbuan, they disembarked and proceeded to the house of Lam-ang. 274 On the morrow of the next day, Lam-ang prepared himself for the task, went out to sea, and once there, took off his clothes. 275 He sought the place where rarang were abundant, and when he saw a rarang creeping on the bottom of the sea, he dived for it but could not find it. 276 He dived for the second time and fell exactly into the mouth of a big berkakan. 277 And now to Kannoyan came the omen: the staircase danced, the kasuuran toppled down, and the stove broke to pieces. 278 And Kannoyan wept, “Ay, my husband Lam-ang, where are you now? There is not even diver I know to pay to look for and arrange your bones.” The townsfolk of both Kannoyan and Lam-ang resumed the dancing and merrymaking. And now the crowd suggested That the bride and bridegroom dance. And forthwith Lam-ang asked Kannoyan to dance with him. And they danced the fandango, the waltz, the curracha,80 the Pangasinan sagamantika, and the Ilocano pios.81 269 And now the merrymakers dispersed. Unnayan left Kannoyan in the care of Lam-ang. 270 When the townsfolk of Kannoyan were gone the incumbent town had visited Lam-ang at his home, 279 She went in search of one to do the job. And after she had found the old man Marcos, the skilled diver. And told him, “Ay, my friend Lamang, I wish to inform you that it is now your turn to fish for rarang.” 280 She had a string to the white rooster and to the hen; 281 Also she put a collar around the neck of the hairy dog. And now she took both the rooster and the hen in her arms and went seaward. 282 And when they reached the place of Lam-ang, and Kannoyan found his clothes, she wept in sorrowful anguish. 283 The rooster declared, “Madam, don’t you worry about my master. He will be brought back to life so long as all his bones are found.” 284 The old man Marcos, the skilled diver, plunged into the water but could not find the bones the fish 271 272 “And I have a premonition that a monster fish, berkakan, will catch and eat me up. 273 “And for a sign that I have been eaten up, our staircase will dance, our kasuuran82 will topple down, our stove will break to pieces.” 80 (Ilocano-kuratsa, from the Spanish curracha.) A Spanish native dance. 81 Sagamantika and pios are native ceremonial dances. 82 A slight and crude bamboo frame of whatever shape hung over the stove on which things are put to dry especially during the rainy days. Also a slight shed used for temporary shelter. 41 had discharged; he dived a second time and now found them. 285 286 287 288 The rooster was gifted with the power of divination it could divine correctly into the fates of the brave Lam-ang and the beautiful Kannoyan. And the rooster said, “You bring here the bones, every one of them, so he can be brought back to life soon.” And when all the bones had been brought, the rooster with its bill felt whether there was any bone missing, and finding there was none, it declared thus: “Ay, my mistress Kannoyan, you cover the bones with your apron and immediately after you have done so, you turn your back.” 289 Now the rooster crowed, the hen flapped its wings, and the bones began to move with life. And then the hairy dog 290 Growled twice and among the bones. 291 And as the rooster had fore old, the bones became endowed with life, and Lam-ang rose up. 292 293 told me came to pass, I wept with sorrow. ran its foot And he declared, “How sound my sleep was, my wife. It is now seven days that we have not been together, and I am now very eager to be with you.” 294 “I can’t help it, my husband Don Lam-ang, come give me your hand, for the wife you left alone is now very eager to have you back again.” 295 They embraced and in their extreme happiness, they fell weak to the ground. 296 And, filled with joy, Lam-ang embraced and kissed his pet rooster and his hairy dog. 297 After that, they all returned home. 298 And when they were home, Lamang said, “It is but proper that we reward the diver. You load him with money, my beloved. 299 “And we should bestow our tender care on our hen and rooster and also our hairy dog, for were it not for their solicitousness for my welfare, I would have been lost forever. 300 “And also it is necessary that we love and care for each other, my beloved, that we may lead a happy life, which we all aspire to, in this world of tears.” 301 Here ends the story of the life of the brave Lam-ang, husband of Doña Ines Kannoyan. And they lived happily ever after. (ca. 1640) Translated by Leopoldo Yabes And Kannoyan answered, “You say it was sleep but no, for you were swallowed up and discharged by a huge berkakan. When what you 42 Meet the Writer PEDRO BUKANEG (ca. 1592– ca.1622 to 1626) was the legendary “first Ilokano man-of-letters,” who, according to stories, translated to Iloko many church doctrines, including the Doctrina Cristiana from Latin and Spanish. Bukaneg’s translation works of religious teachings were said to have facilitated the Ilokanos’ conversion to Christianity. Biographers assumed that a woman old woman found him inside a tampipi (a woven basket or box) floating along the banks of the Banaoang River and turned him over to the Augustinian parish priest of Bantay who baptized him Pedro Bukaneg. He was born blind and ugly but he turned out to be brilliant and musically talented; such qualities that were honed in the convent of Bantay where the kind Augustinian priests nurtured and educated him. He learned from them Latin and the Spanish language in addition to his native vernaculars – Iloko and Itneg. Because of this, he was a great help to the priests in converting the natives to Christianity. Many priests turned to him for translation of their sermons and prayers into Iloko. He was even asked to preach Christianity in Iloko in the different towns of the province. His being blind did not hinder him from writing down his thoughts. The popular Ilokano epic Biag ni Lam-ang attributed to him was written down by an amanuensis as he dictated the lines of the story. It was presumed that Bukaneg wrote his poems, songs, and translation in the same manner. The numerous stories about Bukaneg’s capabilities and the dismal documents about him make one wanders what was historical and myth about him. Some records though, aside from his epic Biag ni Lam-ang, like the prologue in Father Lopez’ book Arte de la Lengua Iloca (UST, 1927) recognized his invaluable contribution. Father Lopez wrote: “…neither forgetting Mr. Pedro Bukaneg who may now be in Glory; since (I honestly confess) the greater and the best in this work as well as that of the Doctrina of Bellarmine is due him.” It was Bukaneg who translated the Doctrina Cristiana of Cardinal Bellarmine into Iloko. His translation was printed in the Augustinian Convent in Manila in 1621 by Antonio Damba and Miguel Seixo under the title: Libro a naisuratan amin ti batas ti Doctrina Cristiana nga naisurat iti libro ti Cardenal a agnagan Belarmino (Book Containing the Substance of the Christian Doctrine written by Cardinal Bellarmine). Bukaneg, whose intellectual qualities and eloquence in speech that often mesmerized his audience superseded his being blind and ugly, died sometime between 1622 and 1626. Aside from his works that perpetuate his memory was the Bukanegan, a literary joust similar to the Tagalog balagtasan. (http://www.nhi.gov.ph/downloads/lt0009.pdf) 43 AKO ANG DAIGDIG Alejandro G. Abadilla I ako ang daigdig ako ang tula ako ang daigdig ng tula ang tula ng daigdig ako ang walang maliw na ako ang walang kamatayang ako ang tula ng daigdig II ako ang daigdig ng tula ako ang tula ng daigdig ako ang malayang ako matapat sa sarili sa aking daigdig ng tula ako ang tula sa daidig ako ang daigdig ng tula ako 44 III ako ang damdaming malaya ako ang larawang buhay ako ang buhay na walang hanggan ako ang damdamin ang larawan ang buhay damdamin larawan buhay tula ako IV ako ang daigdig sa tula ako ang tula sa daigdig ako ang daigdig ako ang tula daigdig tula ako (1955) 45 Meet the Writer ALEJANDRO G. ABADILLA (March 10, 1906–August 26, 1969), commonly known as AGA, was a Filipino poet, essayist and fiction writer. Critic Pedro Ricarte referred to Abadilla as the father of modern Philippine poetry, and was known for challenging established forms and literature's "excessive romanticism and emphasis on rime and meter". Abadilla helped found the Kapisanang Panitikan in 1935 and edited a magazine called Panitikan. His Ako ang Daigdig collection of poems is oneof his better known works. Abadilla was born to an average Filipino family on March 10, 1906, in Salinas, Rosario, [BICOL]. He finished elementary school at Sapa Barrio School, then continued for high school education in BICOL City. After graduation, he worked for abroad into a small printing shop in Seattle, Washington. He edited several section of the Philippine Digest, Philippines-American Review and established Kapisanang Balagtas (Balagtas' Organization). In 1934, he returned to the Philippines where he finished AB Philosophy at the University of Santo Tomas. Until 1934, he became municipal councilor of Salinas before shifting to insurance selling job. According to Pedro Ricarte, Abadilla's major breakthrough in Philippine poetry was when he wrote his poem Ako ang Daigdig (I am the World) in 1955. Initially, poetry critics at that time rejected the poem since it does not follow the traditional poetry that uses rhyming scheme and proper syllable numbering. In the poem, the repetition of the words ako (I), daigdig (world) and tula (poem) leaves an impression that the poet, Abadilla, is not himself. The speaker of the poem tells that he himself, his world of poem and his poems are united as one. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alejandro_G._Abadilla) 46 PATAY NA TUOD SI MARIA CLARA Erlinda Kintanar Alburo Ah, kadto bang nagluspad nga hinigugma sa linuiban nga si Crisostomo Ibarra? Matud pa ni Mama kadto siya sulondon magsigeg kablit sa arpa, manggiulawon laming motimplag hamonada, hinayon moamin kada humag nobena, matinahuron ug unsa pa dihang uban nga mga—un-on nga karon malisod na natong ispilingon. Wala na tingali nahibilin rong arpa ug labihan kamaha; maglutog hamonada ug unsa to, kalaay ba anang magsisgeg nobena? Si kinsa lay gusting santosong kay atong paantuson. Ang kinahanglan sa babaye karon maalam molalik sa awit nga iyang tukaron, maabtik mangitag idalit nga sud-anon, molihok bisag wala pay bendisyon. Kon naa pa ron si Mama unsa kahay iayng ikasulti? Nga labaw pang na-anghing kaniya si Maria Clara, mirisi. 47 Meet the Writer ERLINDA KINTANAR ALBURO is a prolific and important contemporary Cebuano scholar and promoter of the language. She has a Ph.D. in Silliman University where she teaches English, literature and research. She is the Director of the Cebuano Studies Center of the University of San Carlos, Cebu City and she coordinates the annual Faigao Memorial Writers Workshop of Cebu. She is an active member of Women in Literary Arts (WILA) and used to be its chairperson. She writes poetry both in English and Cebuano. (http://panitikan.com.ph/authors/a/ekalburo.htm) 48 BLONDE AND BLUE EYES Patricia Chanco Evangelista 1 When I was little, I wanted what many Filipino children all over the country wanted. I wanted to be blond, blue-eyed, and white. I thought—if I just wished hard enough and was good enough, I'd wake up on Christmas morning with snow outside my window and freckles across my nose! More than four centuries under western domination does that to you. I have sixteen cousins. In a couple of years, there will just be five of us left in the Philippines, the rest will have gone abroad in search of "greener pastures." It's not just an anomaly; it's a trend; the Filipino Diaspora. Today, about eight million Filipinos are scattered around the world. 2 There are those who disapprove of Filipinos who choose to leave. I used to. Maybe this is a natural reaction of someone who was left behind, smiling for family pictures that get emptier with each succeeding year. Desertion, I called it. My country is a land that has perpetually fought for the freedom to be itself. Our heroes offered their lives in the struggle against the Spanish, the Japanese, the Americans. To pack up and deny that identity is tantamount to spitting on that sacrifice. 3 Or is it? I don't think so, not anymore. True, there is no denying this phenomenon, aided by the fact that what was once the other side of the world is now a twelvehour plane ride away. But this is a borderless world, where no individual can claim to be purely from where he is now. My mother is of Chinese descent, my father is a quarter Spanish, and I call myself a pure Filipino-a hybrid of sorts resulting from a combination of cultures. 4 Each square mile anywhere in the world is made up of people of different ethnicities, with national identities and individual personalities. Because of this, each square mile is already a microcosm of the world. In as much as this blessed spot that is England is the world, so is my neighborhood back home. 5 Seen this way, the Filipino Diaspora, or any sort of dispersal of populations, is not as ominous as so many claim. It must be understood. I come from a Third World country, one that is still trying mightily to get back on its feet after many years of dictatorship. 6 But we shall make it, given more time. Especially now, when we have thousands of eager young minds who graduate from college every year. They have skills. They need jobs. We cannot absorb them all. 7 A borderless world presents a bigger opportunity, yet one that is not so much abandonment but an extension of identity. Even as we take, we give back. We are the 40,000 skilled nurses who support the UK's National Health Service. We are the quarter-of-a-million seafarers manning most of The world s commercial ships. We are your software engineers in Ireland, your construction workers in the Middle East, your doctors and caregivers in North America, and, your musical artists in London's West End. 8 Nationalism isn't bound by time or place. People from other nations migrate to create new nations, yet still remain essentially who they are. British society is itself 49 an example of a multi-cultural nation, a melting pot of races, religions, arts and cultures. We are, indeed, in a borderless world! 9 Leaving sometimes isn't a matter of choice. It's coming back that is. The Hobbits of the shire traveled all over Middle-Earth, but they chose to come home, richer in every sense of the word. We call people like these balik-bayans or the 'returnees'— those who followed their dream, yet choose to return and share their mature talents and good fortune. 10 In a few years, I may take advantage of whatever opportunities come my way. But I will come home. A borderless world doesn't preclude the idea of a home. I'm a Filipino, and I'll always be one. It isn't about just geography; it isn't about boundaries. It's about giving back to the country that shaped me. And that's going to be more important to me than seeing snow outside my windows on a bright Christmas morning. (2004) 50 Meet the Writer PATRICIA CHANCO EVANGELISTA is a debater, TV show host, columnist, segment producer, product endorser and leader. As a 19 year-old student, she became the first Filipina to win the the Best Speaker award in the International Public Speaking Competition - an annual contest sponsored by the English-Speaking Union held in London. Her speech entitled Blonde and Blue Eyes, for the theme Borderless World, bested 59 contestants from 37 countries. Evangelista finished high school at St. Theresa's College, Quezon City. Evangelista graduated as a BA Speech Communication major in the University of the Philippines, Diliman in 2006. She is an alumna of the UP Debate Society (UPDEBSOC). Evangelista became a host in Breakfast Supersized, Tara Na Pinoy and Y Speak Live. She later replaced Anne Torres to host ABC-5's DOKYU. She became a product endorser for Lipton Iced Tea. Her column Rebel Without A Clue appears every Sunday in the Philippine Daily Inquirer's Opinion Section. She used to have a column called Crazed in the Philippine Star. Evangelista also teaches Creative Writing at Saint Paul College, Pasig. She is also a writer/host/segment producer for Living Asia Channel and for Media Focus, a talk show on media affairs hosted by Cheche Lazaro. In addition, she writes for the history talk show The Explainer hosted by Manolo Quezon and a consultant for debate show Square off. She serves as the National Youth Spokesperson for Operation Smile and a volunteer writer for Gawad Kalinga. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patricia_Evangelista) 51 This Miss Phathupats Juan Crisostomo Soto 1 Miss Yeyeng was an overly made-up lady. People were saying, her parents were born in one corner of Pampanga in the smallest town there. Because of this, Miss Yeyeng who was a Filipina from head to foot even to the ends of her hair, was Capampangan, too. 2 Her people, because they were poor were mostly vendors like Miss Yeyeng who was often seen carrying guinatan or bichu-bicho on her head, walking to the gambling houses. For a long while there were no surprises in the life of this miss. 3 The revolution died down. The American Military Government opened schools and chose of their men to teach there. Meanwhile Miss Yeyeng…she was still Yeyeng then without the “miss,” had a regular customer among the teacher-soldiers. He persuaded Miss Yeyeng to study in the school where he taught so they could understand each other better. When they spoke to each other the soldier had use English to Miss Yeyeng’s Capampangan. So she tried hard to study in the school. 4 After a few months Miss Yeyeng was speaking in English and after eight months with the help of the teacher-soldier, she went to a town where she became a teacher. 5 As a teacher she was respected by her pupils for they saw she knew more English than they. 6 Time flew like this: Miss Yeyeng stopped speaking Capampangan which she claimed to have forgotten. Since the language was hard her tongue fumbled and she lisped badly in pronouncing the words. 7 The crowd who recognized her when they heard her speaking winked at one another. They changed her name and branded her with the loud and pungent “Miss Phathupats,” a name describing her wide waist which she vainly restrained with a tight corset so that she looked like an elongated, tightly wrapped suman. 8 From then on the name stuck and people eventually forgot “Yeyeng” her sweet nickname. The name “Miss Phathupats” came in current use. 9 Before long the Capampangan newspaper Ing Emangabiran came out in Bacolor. At the fiesta in the town of X, which Miss Phathupats attended, the said newspaper was being read. This miss approached a group of readers but when she saw what they were reading she pouted a bit, shook her head and said: 10 “I do not understand Pampango,” in Spanish. 11 “I do not understand Spanish, Miss,” a rogue countered, aping her intonation. 52 12 Those in the gathering smiled; but being educated, demurred so the pretty miss would not notice. But she, suspecting that they were deriding her, went on and said: 13 “Actually I have a hard time speaking Capampangan especially when I have to read text.” 14 In the short sentence she had to use the current words in the dictionaries in English, Spanish and Tagalog slang which she muddled together. The listeners could not help themselves so they laughed aloud. 15 Miss Phathupats got mad and confronted the people laughing and said: 16 “Why the reading?” 17 “Because of your gobbledygook, Miss,” was the first answer. 18 The laughter of the listeners grew louder and Miss Phathupats’ blood pressure rose higher. 19 One of them said: 20 “Do not wonder why this Miss does not understand Capampangan. First, she has long been associating with American soldiers and secondly she is not Capampangan anymore. Proof of this is her name Miss Phathupats.” 21 Everything now broke loose. With the loud explosion the sanity of Miss Phathupats burst and from her mouth came out all the overflowing fire and brimstone of Vesuvius and all the dirty words in Capampangan she spat out in a ball from her fiery mouth. 22 “Shameless, thief, murderer, son of…”, she said in Capampangan. 23 “Now! She is really Capampangan,” said one quick to react. 24 “Yes, don’t you know,” said another who knew her well, “she is the daughter of Old Stone-deaf Godiung, my barriomate.” 25 The gathering burst out laughing. Miss Phathupats started crying and in wiping her falling tears, her thick face powder came off. On her face appeared her true color, darker than the duhat. The spectators laughed louder when they saw this and said: 26 “Why, she is truly dark.’ 27 “Yes, she is an American Negro.” 28 Shouts, applause, laughter rose then. Miss Phathupats reached the end of her rope. She staggered out into the street and said: 29 “I will never visit this house again.” 53 30 “Farewell, Miss Alice Roosevelt.” 31 “Farewell, Miss Phathupats.” 32 The crowd feasted on her this way. And the poor Yeyeng left muttering, with her tail between her legs. 33 So many are the Miss Phathupats nowadays who do not know Capampangan, or feel ashamed to use the language once they learn to speak a smattering of English. (1970) Translated by Lourdes H. Vidal 54 Meet the Writer Si JUAN CRISOSTOMO SOTO (27 Enero 1867 – 12 Hulyo 1918) ay isang kilalang manunulat, makata, mandudula, periodista at rebolusyonaryo. Siya ang kilalang “Ama na literatura ng Pampanga”. Isinilang sa Bacolor, Pampanga, si Juan Crisostomo Soto, na anak nina Santiago Soto at Marciana Caballa. Si Soto ay unang natutong magbasa at magsulat sa pamamagitan ni Cirilo Fernandez at nagpatuloy siyang tinuruan ni Vicente Quirino. Bilang isang manunulat, ginamit ni Soto ang sagisag panulat na Crissot. Siya ay sumulat ng mga tula, drama, sanaysay, dulang katatawanan, at nagsasalin din siya ng mga literaturang nasusulat sa wikang Espanyol, ang isa rito ay ang Lovers of Teruel Faust at Nero and the Gladiators. Nagsusulat din siya sa La Indepencia. At nang sumiklab ang Rebolusyon sa Filipinas, noong 1896, si Soto ay tumulong kay Maximo Hizon sa pagpapalaganap ng mga ideyolohiya ng mga kapampangan. Kasama si Soto sa grupo ni Tomas Mascardo na nakipaglaban noong 1898, sa mga Amerikano. (http://fil.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?title=Juan_Crisostomo_Soto) 55 THE MIS-EDUCATION OF THE FILIPINO Renato Constantino 1 Education is a vital weapon of a people striving for economic emancipation, political independence and cultural renascence. We are such a people. Philippine education, therefore must produce Filipinos who are aware of their country's problems, who understand the basic solution to these problems, and who care enough to have courage to work and sacrifice for their country's salvation. Nationalism in Education 2 In recent years, in various sectors of our society, there have been nationalist stirrings which were crystallized and articulated by the late Claro M. Recto, There were jealous demands for the recognition of Philippine sovereignty on the bases question. There were appeals for the correction of the iniquitous economic relations between the Philippines and the United States. For a time, Filipino businessmen and industrialists rallied around the banner of the FILIPINO FIRST policy, and various scholars and economists proposed economic emancipation as an intermediate goal for the nation. In the field of art, there have been signs of a new appreciation for our own culture. Indeed, there has been much nationalist activity in many areas of endeavor, but we have yet to hear of a well-organized campaign on the part of our educational leaders for nationalism in education. 3 Although most of our educators are engaged in the lively debate on techniques and tools for the improved instructions, not one major educational leader has come out for a truly nationalist education. Of course some pedagogical experts have written on some aspects of nationalism in education. However, no comprehensive educational program has been advanced as a corollary to the programs for political and economic emancipation. This is a tragic situation because the nationalist movement is crippled at the outset by a citizenry that is ignorant of our basic ills and is apathetic to our national welfare. New Perspective 4 Some of our economic and political leaders have gained a new perception of our relations with the United States as a result of their second look at PhilippineAmerican relations since the turn of the century. The reaction which has emerged as economic and political nationalism is an attempt on their part to revise the iniquities of the past and to complete the movement started by our revolutionary leaders of 1896. The majority of our educational leaders, however, still continue to trace their direct lineal descent to the first soldier-teachers of the American invasion army. They seem oblivious to the fact that the educational system and philosophy of which they are proud inheritors were valid only within the framework of American colonialism. The educational system introduced by the Americans had to correspond and was designed to correspond to the economic and political reality of American conquest. Capturing Minds 5 The most effective means of subjugating a people is to capture their minds. Military victory does not necessarily signify conquest. As long as feelings of 56 resistance remain in the hearts of the vanquished, no conqueror is secure. This is best illustrated by the occupation of the Philippines by the Japanese militarists during the second world war. Despite the terroristic regime imposed by the Japanese warlords, the Filipinos were never conquered. Hatred for the Japanese was engendered by their oppressive techniques which in turn were intensified by the stubborn resistance of the Filipino people. Japanese propagandists and psychological warfare experts, however, saw the necessity of winning the minds of the people. Had the Japanese stayed longer, Filipino children who were being schooled under the auspices of the new dispensation would have grown into strong pillars of the Greater East-Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere. Their minds would have been conditioned to suit the policies of the Japanese imperialists. 6 The molding of men's minds is the best means of conquest. Education, therefore, serves as a weapon in wars of colonial conquest. This singular fact was well appreciated by the American military commander in the Philippines during the Filipino-American War. According to the census of 1903: 7 8 General Otis urged and furthered the reopening of schools, himself selecting and ordering the text-books. Many officers, among them chaplains, were detailed as superintendent of schools, and many enlisted men, as teachers. The American military authorities had a job to do. They had to employ all means to pacify a people whose hopes for independence were being frustrated by the presence of another conqueror. The primary reason for the rapid introduction, on a large scale, of the American public school system in the Philippines was the conviction of the military leaders that no measure could so quickly promote the pacification of the islands as education. General Arthur McArthur, in recommending a large appropriation for school purposes, said: 9 This appropriation is recommended primarily and exclusively as an adjunct to military operations calculated to pacify the people and to procure and expedite the restoration of tranquility throughout the archipelago. Beginnings of Colonial Education 10 Thus, from its inception, the educational system of the Philippines was a means of pacifying a people who were defending their newly-won freedom from an invader who had posed as an ally. The education of the Filipino under American sovereignty was an instrument of colonial policy. The Filipino has to be educated as a good colonial. Young minds had to be shaped to conform to American ideas. Indigenous Filipino ideals were slowly eroded in order to remove the last vestiges of resistance. Education served to attract the people to the new masters and at the same time to dilute their nationalism which had just succeeded in overthrowing a foreign power. The introduction of the American educational system was a subtle means of defeating a triumphant nationalism. As Charles Burke Elliot said in his book, The Philippines: 11 To most Americans it seemed absurd to propose that any other language than English should be used over which their flag floated. But in the schools of India and other British dependencies and colonies and, generally, in all colonies, it was and still is customary to use the vernacular in the elementary schools, and the immediate adoption of English in the Philippine schools subjected America to the charge of forcing the language of the conquerors upon a defenseless people. 57 12 Of course, such a system of education as the Americans contemplated could be successful only under the direction of American teachers, as the Filipino teachers who had been trained in Spanish methods were ignorant of the English language . . . 13 Arrangements were promptly made for enlisting a small army of teachers in the United States. At first they came in companies, but soon in battalions. The transport Thomas was fitted up for their accomodations and in July, 1901, it sailed from San Francisco with six hundred teachers -a second army of occupation – surely the most remarkable cargo ever carried to an Oriental colony. The American Vice-Governor 14 The importance of education as a colonial tool was never under-estimated by the Americans. This may be clearly seen in the provision of the Jones Act which granted the Filipinos more autonomy. Although the government services were Filipinized, although the Filipinos were being prepared for self-government, the Department of Education was never entrusted to any Filipino. Americans always headed this department. This was assured by Article 23 of the Jones Act which provided: 15 That there shall be appointed by the President, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate of the United States, a vice-governor of the Philippine Islands, who shall have all the powers of the governor-general in the case of a vacancy or temporary removal, resignation or disability of the governor-general, or in case of his temporary absence; and the said vice-governor shall be the head of the executive department known as the department of Public Instruction, which shall include the bureau of education and the bureau of health, and he may be assigned such other executive duties as the Governor-General may designate. 16 Up to 1935, therefore, the head of this department was an American. And when a Filipino took over under the commonwealth, a new generation of "FilipinoAmerican" had already been produced. There was no longer any need for American overseers in this filed because a captive generation had already come of age, thinking and acting like little Americans. 17 This does not mean, however, that nothing that was taught was of any value. We became literate in English to a certain extent. We were able to produce more men and women who could read and write. We became more conversant with the outside world, especially the American world. A more widespread education such as the Americans would have been a real blessing had their educational program not been the handmaiden of their colonial policy. Unfortunately for us, the success of education as a colonial weapon was complete and permanent. In exchange for a smattering of English, we yielded our souls. The stories of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln made us forget our own nationalism. The American view of our history turned our heroes into brigands in our own eyes, distorted our vision of our future. The surrender of the Katipuneros was nothing compared to this final surrender, this levelling down of our last defenses. Dr. Chester Hunt characterizes this surrender in these words: 18 The programme of cultural assimilation combined with a fairly rapid yielding of control resulted in the fairly general acceptance of American culture as the goal of Filipino society with the corollary that individual Americans were given a status of respect. 58 19 This, in a nutshell, was (and to a great extent still is) the happy result of early educational policy because, within the framework of American colonialism, whenever there was a conflict between American and Filipino goals and interests, the schools guided us toward thought and action which could forward American interests. Goals of American Education 20 The educational system established by the Americans could not have been for the sole purpose of saving the Filipinos from illiteracy and ignorance. Given the economic and political purposes of American occupation, education had to be consistent with these broad purposes of American colonial policy. The Filipinos had to be trained as citizens of an American colony. The Benevolent Assimilation proclamation of President McKinley on December 21, 1898 at a time when Filipino forces were in control of the country except Manila, betrays the intention of the colonizers. Judge Blount in his book, The American Occupation of the Philippines, properly comments: 21 22 Clearly, from the Filipino point of view, the United States was now determined “to spare them from the dangers of premature independence,” using such force as might be necessary for the accomplishment of that pious purpose. Despite the noble aims announced by the American authorities that the Philippines was theirs to protect and guide, the fact still remained that these people were a conquered nation whose national life had to be woven into the pattern of American dominance. Philippine education was shaped by the overriding factor of preserving and expanding American control. To achieve this, all separatist tendencies were discouraged. Nay, they had to be condemned as subversive. With this as the pervasive factor in the grand design of conquering a people, the pattern of education, consciously or unconsciously, fostered and established certain attitudes on the part of the governed. These attitudes conformed to the purposes of American occupation. An Uprooted Race 23 The first and perhaps the master stroke in the plan to use education as an instrument of colonial policy was the decision to use English as the medium of instruction. English became the wedge that separated the Filipinos from their past and later to separate educated Filipinos from the masses of their countrymen. English introduced the Filipinos to a strange, new world. With American textbooks, Filipinos started learning not only a new language but also a new way of life, alien to their traditions and yet a caricature of their model. This was the beginning of their education. At the same time, it was the beginning of their mis-education, for they learned no longer as Filipinos but as colonials. 24 They had to be disoriented form their nationalist goals because they had to become good colonials. The ideal colonial was the carbon copy of his conqueror, the conformist follower of the new dispensation. He had to forget his past and unlearn the nationalist virtues in order to live peacefully, if not comfortably, under the colonial order. The new Filipino generation learned of the lives of American heroes, sang American songs, and dreamt of snow and Santa Claus. 59 25 The nationalist resistance leaders exemplified by Sakay were regarded as brigands and outlaws. The lives of Philippine heroes were taught but their nationalist teachings were glossed over. Spain was the villain, America was the savior. To this day, our histories still gloss over the atrocities committed by American occupation troops such as the "water cure" and the reconcentration camps. Truly, a genuinely Filipino education could not have been devised within the new framework, for to draw from the wellsprings of the Filipino ethos would only have lead to a distinct Philippine identity with interests at variance with that of the ruling power. 26 Thus, the Filipino past which had already been quite obliterated by three centuries of Spanish tyranny did not enjoy a revival under American colonialism. On the contrary, the history of our ancestors was taken up as if they were strange and foreign peoples who settled in these shores, with whom we had the most tenuous of ties. We read about them as if we were tourists in a foreign land. Economic Attitudes 27 Control of the economic life of a colony is basic to colonial control. Some imperial nations do it harshly but the United States could be cited for the subtlety and uniqueness of its approach. For example, free trade was offered as a generous gift of American altruism. Concomitantly, the educational policy had to support his view and to soften the effects of the slowly tightening noose around the necks of the Filipinos. The economic motivations of the American in coming to the Philippines were not at all admitted to the Filipinos. As a matter of fact, from the first school-days under the soldier-teachers to the present, Philippine history books have portrayed America as a benevolent nation who came here only to save us from Spain and to spread amongst us the boons of liberty and democracy. The almost complete lack of understanding at present of those economic motivations and of the presence of American interests in the Philippines are the most eloquent testimony to the success of the education for colonials which we have undergone. 28 What economic attitudes were fostered by American education? It is interesting to note that during the times that the school attempts to inculcate an appreciation for things Philippine, the picture that is presented for the child's admiration is an idealized picture of a rural Philippines, as pretty and as unreal as an Amorsolo painting with its carabao, its smiling healthy farmer, the winsome barrio lass in the bright clean patadyong, and the sweet nipa hut. That is the portrait of the Filipino that our education leaves in the minds of the young and it hurst in two ways. 29 First, it strengthens the belief (and we see this in adults) that the Philippines is essentially meant to be an agricultural country and we can not and should not change that. The result is an apathy toward industrialization. It is an idea they have not met in school. There is further, a fear, born out of that early stereotype of this country as an agricultural heaven, that industrialization is not good for us, that our national environment is not suited for an industrial economy, and that it will only bring social evils which will destroy the idyllic farm life. 30 Second, this idealized picture of farm life never emphasizes the poverty, the disease, the cultural vacuum, the sheer boredom, the superstition and ignorance of backward farm communities. Those who pursue higher education think of the farm as quaint places, good for an occasional vacation. Their life is rooted in the big towns and cities and there is no interest in revamping rural life because there is no 60 understanding of its economic problems. Interest is limited to aretsian wells and handicraft projects. Present efforts to uplift the conditions of the rural masses merely attack the peripheral problems without admitting the urgent need for basic agrarian reform. 31 With American education, the Filipinos were not only learning a new language; they were not only forgetting their own language; they were starting to become a new type of American. American ways were slowly being adopted. Our consumption habits were molded by the influx of cheap American goods that came in duty-free. The pastoral economy was extolled because this conformed with the colonial economy that was being fostered. Our books extolled the western nations as peopled by superior beings because they were capable of manufacturing things that we never thought we were capable of producing. We were pleased by the fact that our raw materials could pay for the American consumption goods that we had to import. Now we are used to these type of goods, and it is a habit we find hard to break, to the detriment of our own economy. 32 We never thought that we too could industrialize because in school we were taught that we were primarily an agricultural country by geographical location and by the innate potentiality of our people. We were one with our fellow Asians in believing that we were not cut out for an industrialized economy. That is why before the war, we looked down upon goods made in Japan despite the fact that Japan was already producing commodities at par with the West. We could never believe Japan, an Asian country, could attain the same superiority as America, Germany or England. And yet, it was "made in Japan" airplanes, battleships and armaments that dislodged the Americans and the British from their positions of dominance during the Second World War. This is the same attitude that has put us out of step with our Asian neighbors who already realize that colonialism has to be extirpated from their lives if they want to be free, prosperous, and happy. TRANSPLANTATION OF POLITICAL INSTITUTIONS 33 American education in effect transplanted American political institutions and ideas into the Philippines. Senator Renato, in his last major address at the University of the Philippines, explained the reason for this. Speaking of political parties, Recto said: 34 35 It is to be deplored that our major political parties were born and nurtured before we had attained the status of a free democracy. The result was that they have come to be caricatures of their foreign model with its known characteristics – patronage, division of spoils, political bossism, partisan treatment of vital national issues. I say caricatures because of their chronic shortsightedness respecting those ultimate objectives the attainment of which was essential to a true and lasting national independence. All throughout the period of American colonization, they allowed themselves to become more and more the tools of colonial rule and less and less the interpreters of the people’s will and ideal. Through their complacency, the new colonizer was able to fashion, in exchange for sufferance of oratorical plaints for independence, and for patronage, rank, and sinecure, a regime of his own choosing, for his own aims, and in his own self-interest. The Americans were confronted with the dilemma of transplanting their political institutions and yet luring the Filipinos into a state of captivity. It was understandable for American authorities to think that democracy can only mean the American type of democracy, and thus they foisted on the Filipinos the 61 institutions that were valid for their own people. Indigenous institutions which could have led to the evolution on native democratic ideas and institutions were disregarded. 36 No wonder, we, too, look with hostility upon countries who try to develop their own political institutions according to the needs of their people without being bound by Western political procedures. We have been made to believe in certain political doctrines as absolute and the same for all peoples. An example of this is the belief in freedom of the press. Here, the consensus is that we cannot nationalize the press because it would be depriving foreigners of the exercise of freedom of the press. This may be valid for strong countries like the United States where there is no threat of foreign domination, but certainly, this is dangerous for an emergent nation like the Philippines where foreign control has yet to be weakened. RE-EXAMINATION DEMANDED 37 The new demands for economic emancipation and the assertion of our political sovereignty leave our educators no other choice but to re-examine their philosophy, their values, and their general approach to the making of the Filipino who will institute, support, and preserve the nationalist aims. To persist in the continuance of a system which was born under the exigencies of colonial rule, to be timid in the face of traditional opposition would only result in the evolution of an anomalous educational system which lags behind the urgent economic and political changes that the nation is experiencing. 38 What then are the nationalist tasks for Philippine education? Education must be seen not as an acquisition of information but as the making of man so that he may function most effectively and usefully within his own society. Therefore, education can not be divorced from the society of a definite country at a definite time. It is a fallacy to think that educational goals should be the same everywhere and that therefore what goes into the making of a well-educated American is the same as what should go into the making of the well-educated Filipino. This would be true only if the two societies were at the same political, cultural, and economic level and had the same political, cultural, and economic goals. 39 But what has happened in this country? Not only do we imitate Western education, we have patterned our education after the most technologically advanced Western nation. The gap between the two societies is very large. In fact, they are two entirely different societies with different goals. ADOPTION OF WESTERN VALUES 40 Economically, the U.S. is an industrial nation. It is a fully developed nation, economically speaking. Our country has a colonial economy with a tiny industrial base – in other words, we are backward and underdeveloped. Politically, the U.S. is not only master of its own house; its control and influence extends to many other countries all over the world. The Philippines has only lately emerged from formal colonial status and it still must complete its political and economic independence. 62 41 Culturally, the U.S. has a vigorously and distinctively American culture. It is a nation whose cultural institutions have developed freely, indigenously, without control or direction from foreign sources, whose ties to its cultural past are clear and proudly celebrated because no foreign power has cause no foreign culture has been superimposed upon it destroying, distorting its own past and alienating the people from their own cultural heritage. 42 What are the characteristics of American education today which spring from its economic, political, and cultural status? What should be the characteristics of our own education as dictated by our own economic, political, and cultural conditions? To contrast both is to realize how inimical to our best interests and progress is our adoption of some of the basic characteristics and values of American education. 43 By virtue of its world leadership and its economic interests in many parts of the world, the United States has an internationalist orientation based securely on a well-grounded, long-held nationalistic viewpoint. U.S. education has no urgent need to stress the development of American nationalism in its young people. Economically, politically, culturally, the U.S. is master of its own house. American education, therefore, understandably lays little emphasis on the kind of nationalism we Filipinos need. 44 Instead, it stresses internationalism and underplays nationalism. This sentiment is noble and good but when it is inculcated in a people who have either forgotten nationalism or never imbibed it, it can cause untold harm. The emphasis on world brotherhood, on friendship for other nations, without the firm foundation of nationalism which would give our people the feeling of pride in our own products and vigilance over our natural resources, has had very harmful results. Chief among these is the transformation of our national virtue of hospitality into a stupid vice which hurts us and makes us the willing dupes of predatory foreigners. UN-FILIPINO FILIPINOS 45 Thus we complacently allow aliens to gain control of our economy. We are even proud of those who amass wealth in our country, publishing laudatory articles about their financial success. We love to hear foreigners call our country a paradise on earth, and we never stop to think that it is a paradise only for them but not for millions of our countrymen. When some of our more intellectually emancipated countrymen spearhead moves for nationalism, for nationalization of this or that endeavor, do the majority of Filipinos support such moves? 46 No, there is apathy because there is no nationalism in our hearts which will spur us to protect and help our own countrymen first. Worse, some Filipinos even worry about the sensibilities of foreigners lest they think ill of us for supposedly discriminating against them. And worst of all, many Filipinos will even oppose nationalistic legislation either because they have become the willing servants of foreign interests or because, in their distorted view, we Filipinos can not progress without the help of foreign capital and foreign entrepreneurs. 47 In this part of the world, we are well nigh unique in our generally non-nationalistic outlook. What is the source of this shameful characteristic of ours? One important source is surely the schools. There is little emphasis on nationalism. Patriotism has been taught us, yes, but in general terms of love of country, respect for the flag, 63 appreciation for the beauty of our countryside, and other similarly innocuous manifestations of our nationality. 48 The pathetic result of this failure of Philippine education is a citizenry amazingly naïve and trusting in its relations with foreigners, devoid of the capacity to feel indignation even in the face of insults to the nation, ready to acquiesce and even to help aliens in the despoliation of our natural wealth. Why are the great majority of our people so complaisant about alien economic control? Much of the blame must be laid at the door of colonial education. Colonial education has not provided us with a realistic attitude toward other nations, especially Spain and the United States. The emphasis in our study of history has been on the great gift that our conquerors have bestowed upon us. A mask of benevolence was used to hide the cruelties and deceit of early American occupation. 49 The noble sentiments expressed by McKinley were emphasized rather than the ulterior motives of conquest. The myth of friendship and special relations is even now continually invoked to camouflage the continuing iniquities in our relationship. Nurtured in this kind of education, the Filipino mind has come to regard centuries of colonial status as a grace from above rather than as a scourge. Is it any wonder then that having regained our independence we have forgotten how to defend it? Is it any wonder that when leaders like Claro M. Recto try to teach us how to be free, the great majority of the people find it difficult to grasp those nationalistic principles that are the staple food of other Asian minds? The American architects of our colonial education really labored shrewdly and well. THE LANGUAGE PROBLEM 50 The most vital problem that has plagued Philippine education has been the question of language. Today, experiments are still going on to find out whether it would be more effective to use the native language. This is indeed ridiculous since an individual cannot be more at home in any other language than his own. In every sovereign country, the use of its own language in education is so natural no one thinks it could be otherwise. 51 But here, so great has been our disorientation caused by our colonial education that the use of our own language is a controversial issue, with more Filipinos against than in favor! Again, as in the economic field Filipinos believe they cannot survive without America, so in education we believe no education can be true education unless it is based on proficiency in English. 52 Rizal already foresaw the tragic effects of a colonial education when, speaking through Simoun, he said: 53 You ask for equal rights, the Hispanization of your customs, and you don’t see that what you are begging for is suicide, the destruction of your nationality, the annihilation of your fatherland, the consecration of tyranny! What will you be in the future? A people without character, a nation without liberty – everything you have will be borrowed, even your very defects!..... What are you going to do with Castilian, the few of you who will speak it? Kill off your own originality, subordinate your thoughts to other brains, and instead of freeing yourselves, make yourselves slaves indeed! Ninetenths of those of you who pretend to be enlightened are renegades to your country! He among you who talks that language neglects his own in such a way that he neither 64 writes it nor understands it, and how many have I not seen who pretended not to know a single word of it! 54 It is indeed unfortunate that teaching in the native language is given up to second grade only, and the question of whether beyond this it should be English or Pilipino is still unsettled. Many of our educational experts have written on the language problem, but there is an apparent timidity on the part of these experts to come out openly for the urgent need of discarding the foreign language as the medium of instruction in spite of remarkable results shown by the use of the native language. Yet, the deleterious effects of using English as the medium of instruction are many and serious. What Rizal said about Spanish has been proven to be equally true for English. BARRIER TO DEMOCRACY 55 Under the system maintained by Spain in the Philippines, educational opportunities were so limited that learning became the possession of a chosen few. This enlightened group was called the ilustrados. They constituted the elite. Most of them came from the wealthy class because this was the only class that could afford to send its sons abroad to pursue higher learning. Learning, therefore, became a badge of privilege. There was a wide gap between the ilustrados and the masses. Of course, many of the ilustrados led the propaganda movement, but they were mostly reformers who wanted reforms within the framework of Spanish education. Many of them were the first to capitulate to the Americans, and the first leaders of the Filipinos during the early years of the American regime came from this class. Later they were supplanted by the products of American education. 56 One of the ostensible reasons for imposing English as the medium of instruction was the fact that English was the language of democracy, that through this tongue the Filipinos would imbibe the American way of life which makes no distinction between rich and poor and which gives everyone equal opportunities. Under this thesis, the existence of an ilustrado class would not long endure because all Filipinos would be enlightened and educated. There would be no privileged class. In the long run, however, English perpetuated the existence of the ilustrados – American ilustrados who, like their counterparts, were strong supporters of the way of life of the new motherland. 57 Now we have a small group of men who can articulate their thoughts in English, a wider group who can read an speak in fairly comprehensible English and a great mass that hardly expresses itself in this language. All of these groups are hardly articulate in their native tongues because of the neglect of our native dialects, if not the deliberate attempts to prevent their growth. 58 The result is a leadership that fails to understand the needs of the masses because it is a leadership that can communicate with the masses only in general and vague terms. This is one reason why political leadership remains in a vacuum. This is the reason why issues are never fully discussed. This is the reason why orators with best inflections, demagogues who rant and rave, are the ones that flourish in the political arena: English has created a barrier between the monopolists of power and the people: English has become a status symbol, while the native tongues are looked down upon. English has given rise to a bifurcated society of fairly educated men and the masses who are easily swayed by them. A clear evidence of the 65 failure of English education is the fact that politicians address the masses in their dialects. Lacking mastery of the dialect, the politicians merely deal in generalities. 59 Because of their lack of command of English, the masses have gotten used to only half-understanding what is said to them in English. They appreciate the sounds without knowing the sense. This is a barrier to democracy. People don’t even think it is their duty to know, or that they are capable of understanding national problems. Because of the language barrier, therefore, they are content to leave everything to their leaders. This is one of the root causes of their apathy, their regionalism or parochialism. Thus, English which was supposedly envisioned as the language of democracy is in our country a barrier to the full flowering of democracy. 60 In 1924 the eminent scholar, Najib Saleeby, wrote on the language of education in the Philippines. He deplored that attempt to impose English as the medium of instruction. Saleeby, who was an expert on the Malayo-Polynesian languages, showed that Tagalog, Visayan, Ilocano, and other Philippine dialects belong to the same linguistic tree. He said: 61 62 The relation the Tagalog holds to the Bisaya or to the Sulu is very much like or closer than that of the Spanish to the Italian. An educated Tagalog from Batangas, and an educated Bisayan from Cebu can learn to understand each other in a short space of time and without much effort. A Cebu student living in Manila can acquire practical use and good understanding of Tagalog in less than three months. The relation between Tagalog and Malay is very much the same as that of Spanish and French. This was said 42 years ago when Tagalog movies, periodicals, radio programs had not yet attained the popularity that they enjoy today all over the country. Saleeby further states: 63 Empirically neither the Spanish nor the English could be a suitable medium for public instruction in the Philippine Islands. It does not seem possible that either of them can become the common or national language of the Archipelago. Three centuries of Spanish rule and education failed to check use of the vernacular. A very small minority of Filipinos could speak Spanish in 1898, but the great mass of the people could neither use nor understand it. Twenty – five years of intensive English education has produced no radical change. More people at present speak English than Spanish, but the great majority hold on to the local dialect. The Spanish policy might be partially justified on colonial and financial grounds, but the American policy cannot be so defended. It should receive popular free choice, or give proof of its practicability by showing actual and satisfactory results. The people have as yet has no occasion to declare their free will, and the present policy must be judged on its own merits and on conclusive evidence … But teaching English broadcast and enforcing its official use is one thing, and its adoption as the basis of education and as the sole medium of public instruction is a completely different matter. This point cannot be fully grasped or comprehended without special attention and experience in colonial education and administration. Such policy is exalted and ambitious to an extreme degree. 64 It aims at something unknown before in human affairs. It is attempting to do what ancient Persia, Rome, Alexander the Great and Napoleon failed to accomplish. It aims at nothing less than the obliteration of the tribal differences of the Filipinos, the substitution of English for the vernacular dialects as a home tongue, and making English the national, common language of the Archipelago. 66 65 This is more true today. Very few college students can speak except in mixed English and the dialect. Our Congress has compounded their confusion by a completely unwarranted imposition of 24 units of Spanish. IMPEDIMENTS TO THOUGHT 66 A foreign language is an impediment to instruction. Instead of learning directly through the native tongue, a child has first to master a foreign tongue, memorize its vocabulary, get accustomed to its sounds, intonations, accents, just to discard the language later when he is out of school. This does not mean that foreign languages should not be taught. Foreign languages should be taught and can be taught more easily after one has mastered his own tongue. 67 Even if the Americans were motivated by the sincere desire of unifying the country through the means of a common tongue, the abject results of instruction in English through the six decades of American education should have awakened our educators to the fact that the learning process has been disrupted by the imposition of a foreign language. From 1935, when the Institute of National Language was organized, very feeble attempts have been made to abandon the teaching of English. Our educators seem constantly to avoid the subject of language, in spite of the clear evidence of rampant ignorance among the products of the present educational system. 68 This has resulted in the denial of education to a vast number of children who after the primary grades no longer continue schooling. In spite of the fact that the national language today is understood all over the country, no one is brave enough to advocate its use as the medium of instruction. There is the constant argument that new expenditures, new efforts in the publication of new textbooks will be required. There are arguments about the dearth of materials in the national language, but these are feeble arguments that merely disguise the basic opposition of our educational leaders to use what is native. Thus the products of the Philippine educational system, barring very few exceptions, are Filipinos who do not have a mastery of their native tongue because of the deliberate neglect of those responsible for the education of the citizens of the nation. 69 A foreign tongue as a medium of instruction constitutes an impediment to learning and to thinking because a student first has to master new sounds, new inflection, new sentence constructions. His innermost thoughts find difficulty of expression, and lack of expression in turn prevents the further development of thought. Thus we find in our society a deplorable lack of serious thinking among great sections of the population. We half understand books and periodicals written in English. We find it an ordeal to communicate with each other through a foreign medium, and yet we have so neglected our native language that we find ourselves at a loss in expressing ourselves in this language. 70 Language is a tool of the thinking process. Through language, thought develops, and the development of thought leads to the further development of language. But when a language becomes a barrier to thought, the thinking process is impeded or retarded and we have the resultant cultural stagnation. Creative thinking, analytic thinking, abstract thinking are not fostered because the foreign language makes the student prone to memorization. Because of the mechanical process of learning, he is able to get only a general idea but not a deeper understanding. So, the 67 tendency of students is to study in order to be able to answer correctly and to pass the examinations and thereby earn the required credits. Independent thinking is smothered because the language of learning ceases to be the language of communication outside the classroom. A student is mainly concerned with the acquisition of information. He is seldom able to utilize this information for deepening his understanding of his society’s problems. 71 Our Institute of National Language is practically neglected. It should be one of the main pillars of an independent country. Our educators are wary about proposing the immediate adoption of the national language as the medium of instruction because of what they consider as opposition of other language groups. This is indicative of our colonial mentality. Our educators do not see any opposition to the use of a foreign language but fear opposition to the use of a foreign language but fear opposition to the use of the national language just because it is based on one of the main dialects. The fact that one can be understood in any part of the Philippines through the national language, the fact that periodicals in the national language and local movies have a mass following all over the islands, shows that, given the right support, the national language would take its proper place. 72 Language is the main problem, therefore. Experience has shown that children who are taught in their native tongue learn more easily and better than those taught in English. Records of the Bureau of Public Schools will support this. But mere teaching in the national language is not enough. There are other areas that demand immediate attention. 73 Philippine history must be re-written from the point of view of the Filipino. Our economic problems must be presented in the light of nationalism and independence. These are only some of the problems that confront a nationalist approach to education. Government leadership and supervision are essential. Our educators need the support of legistrators in this regard. In this connection, the private sector has also to be strictly supervised. THE PRIVATE SECTOR 74 Before the second world war, products of the Philippine public school system looked down upon their counterparts in the private schools. It is generally accepted that graduates of the public schools at that time were superior to the products of the private institutions in the point of learning. There were exclusive private institutions but these were reserved for the well-to-do. These schools did not necessarily reflect superiority of instruction. But they reflected superiority of social status. 75 Among students of the public schools, there was still some manifestation of concern for national problems. Vestiges of the nationalistic tradition of our revolution remained in the consciousness of those parents who had been caught in the main-stream of the rebellion, and these were passed on to the young. On the other hand, apathy to national problems was marked among the more affluent private school students whose families had readily accepted American rule. 76 Today, public schools are looked down upon. Only the poor send their children to these schools. Those who can afford it, or those who have social pretentions, send their children to private institutions. The result has been a boom in private 68 education, a boom that unfortunately has seen the proliferation of diploma mills. There were two concomitant tendencies that went this trend. First was the commercialization of education. A lowering of standards resulted because of the inadequate facilities of the public schools and the commercialization in the private sector. It is a well known fact that classes in many private schools are packed and teachers are overloaded in order to maximize profits. Second, some private schools which are owned and operated by foreigners and whose social science courses are handled by aliens flourished. While foreigners may not be anti-Filipino, they definitely cannot be nationalistic in orientation. They think as foreigners and as private interests. Thus the proliferation of private schools and the simultaneous deterioration of public schools have resulted not only in lower standards but also in a definitely un-Filipino education. 77 Some years ago, there was a move to grant curricular freedom to certain qualified private institutions as well as wider leeway for self-regulation. This was a retrograde step. It is true that this move was in answer to charges that state supervision would enhance regimentation. But in a country that is just awakening to nationalist endeavors, it is the duty of a nationalist administration to see to it that the molding of minds is safely channeled along nationalistic lines. The autonomy of private institutions may be used to subvert nationalist sentiments especially when ownership of schools and handling of social sciences are not yet Filipinized. Autonomy of private institutions would only dilute nationalist sentiments either by foreign subversion or by commercialization. OTHER EDUCATIONAL MEDIA 78 While the basic defect in the educational system has been responsible for the lack of nationalist ideals, there are other media and facilities that negate whatever gains are made in some sectors of the educational field. The almost unilateral source of news, films, and other cultural materials tends to distort our perspective. American films and comics, American press services, fellowships in America, have all contributed to the almost total Americanization of our attitudes. A distinct Filipino culture cannot prevail if an avalanche of western cultural materials suffocates our relatively punny efforts in this direction. NEEDED: FILIPINOS 79 The education of the Filipino must be a Filipino education. It must be based on the needs of the nation and the goals of the nation. The object is not merely to produce men and women who can read and write or who can add and subtract. The primary object is to produce a citizenry that appreciates and is conscious of its nationhood and has national goals for the betterment of the community, and not an anarchic mass of people who know how to take good care of themselves only. Our students hear Rizal and Bonifacio but are their teachings related to our present problems or do they merely learn of anecdotes and incidents that prove interesting to the child’s imagination? 80 We learned to use American criteria for our problems and we look at our prehistory and our past with the eyes of a visitor. A lot of information is learned but attitudes are not developed. The proper regard for things Philippine, the selfish concern over the national fate ---these are not at all imbedded in the consciousness of students. Children and adolescents got to school to get a certification or diploma. They try to 69 learn facts but the patriotic attitude is not acquired because of too much emphasis on forms. 81 What should be the basic objective of education in the Philippines? It is merely to produce mean and women who can read and write? If this is the only purpose, then education is directionless. Education should first of all assure national survival. No amount of economic and political policy can be successful if the educational program does not imbue prospective citizens with the proper attitudes that will ensure the implementation of these goals and policies. Philippines education policies should be geared to the making of Filipinos. These policies should see to it that schools produce men and women with minds and attitudes that are attuned to the needs of the country. 82 Under previous colonial regimes, education saw to it that the Filipino mind was subservient to that of the master. The foreign overlords were esteemed. We were not taught to view them objectively, seeing their virtues as well as their faults. This led our citizens to form a distorted opinion of the foreign masters and also of themselves. The function of education now is to correct this distortion. We must now think of ourselves, of our salvation, of our future. And unless we prepare the minds of the young for this endeavor, we shall always be a pathetic people with no definite goals and no assurance of preservation. (1959) 70 Meet the Writer RENATO CONSTANINO, born in Manila on March 10, 1919, was the eldest of three children of Atty. Amador Constantino and Francisca Reyes. Constantino was a prolific writer. He wrote around 30 books and numerous pamphlets and monographs. Among his well-known books are A Past Revisited and The Continuing Past (a two-volume history of the Philippines), The Making of a Filipino (a biography of Claro M. Recto), Neo-colonial Identity and CounterConsciousness, and The Nationalist Alternative. Several of his books have been translated into Japanese and The Nationalist Alternative has a Malaysian translation. His writings invariably reflected his nationalist, democratic, anti-colonial and antiimperialist perspective whether he was writing historical articles or articles on the economy, Philippine society and culture. Because of what were then regarded as his radical views and his criticisms of those in power, he was persecuted many times in his life. He lost his position in the Department of Foreign Affairs in 1951 and thereafter he was prevented from getting a job because intelligence agents discouraged employers from hiring him on the ground that he was a security risk. Off and on during his life, his articles were refused by major papers which used to print his works. In fact, his most widely read essay, The Miseducation of the Filipino, had to wait five years before it saw print. A few years before martial law, he was frequently criticizing Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos in his columns. These columns were published in a book, The Marcos Watch, just two weeks before Marcos declared martial law. When martial law was declared, he was placed under house arrest for seven months and not allowed to travel abroad for several years. Recognition of Constantino's work came in his later years, among them Nationalism awards from Quezon City in 1987, Manila in 1988, The Civil Liberties Union in 1988, and U.P. Manila in 1989. These were followed by Manila's Diwa ng Lahi Award in 1989, a Doctor of Arts and Letters (honoris causa) from the Polytechnic University of the Philippines in 1989 and a Doctor of Laws (honoris causa) from the University of the Philippines in 1990. Renato Constantino died on September 15, 1999. He left behind his wife and collaborator, Letizia Roxas, his son Renato, Jr. and daughter-in-law Lourdes Balderrama, his daughter Karina and her husband, Randy S. David, eight grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. (http://en.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?title=Renato_Constantino) 71 PLATITO Adonis Durado Nanghugas kog tasa ug platito dihang kalit kong nahigugma sa pulong nga "platito" Platito-pla-ti-to inig litok mokang-a ang imong baba ug labtikan sa imong dila ang ngilit sa imong ngipon, dayog tutho sa simod-pla-ti-to. Tingali kung ang akong asawa, napangalan nako nig "Platito". "Intawn ang akong Platito." "Sus, gakamuritsing si Platito." "Kaparaygon ba aning Platito" Para nako, kung ang "platito" usa pa ka kolor, siguro mora kinig kolor sa puwang sibuyas-ang kapuwanon dili puwa. Kung ugaling usa ni ka numero, morag gahinambid nga kwatro tupad sa mabdos nga otso. Kung parte kini sa nawong, mao niy bukobuko sa dungan o kaha kanal nga mibadlis taliwa sa ilong ug sa ngabil. Kung usa kini ka mananap, usa ka isdang barungoy-di lang kahibawng molangoy, kaantigo pud nga molupad. Kung tiyempo kini sa panahon, basin uwan sa udtong tutok o ang unang tugnaw sa tun-og sa kagabhion sa Nobyembre. Kung usa kini ka instrumento, turutot ni Louis Armstrong "Turutot" --haha, gwapoha ba yati aning pulonga--tu-ru-tot. "Turutot, turutot sa turutoy..." Ug kalit lang, wa ko kamatikod nahiplos na diay sa akong kamot ang gisabunan kong platito. 72 Meet the Writer ADONIS DURADO works as a graphic designer and is currently based in Bangkok, Thailand. He received the "Emmanuel Lacaba Prize" from the National Commission for Culture and the Arts in 2000, and "The Best New Writer" from Cebuano Studies Center and Faigao Foundation in 2001. He was a fellow of Iligan National Writers Workshop, UP National Writers Workshop, and Don Cornelio Faigao Workshop. (http://balakerongdaku.blogspot.com/) 73